“Who Is My Family?” — I Love How The Kingdom Redefines The Home!
When Jesus asked, “Who are my mother and my brothers?” (Matthew 12:48), He was not confused about His earthly relatives. He was confronting a deeper confusion in His listeners. They knew His earthly household—Joseph and Mary (Matthew 1:16), and His brothers James, Joseph, Simon, and Judas (Matthew 13:55), along with unnamed sisters. The crowd knew. Jesus knew. Yet He asked the question to expose a spiritual blind spot: many trusted their lineage, morality, and religious pedigree as their passport into God’s kingdom.
But the moment matters. Jesus had just healed a blind and mute man (Matthew 12:22). The crowds marveled; the Pharisees fumed and credited His power to Satan (Matthew 12:24). That accusation marked a turning point. Jesus pronounced judgment on that unbelieving generation (Matthew 12:39–45) and began shifting His focus from the masses to the making of disciples who would carry the gospel after His cross.
While He was teaching about accountability and repentance, His family waited outside, seeking a word with Him (Matthew 12:46–47). The interruption gave Him a living illustration. He stretched out His hand toward His disciples and said, “Here are my mother and my brothers. For whoever does the will of my Father in heaven is my brother and sister and mother” (Matthew 12:49–50).
A Radical but Righteous Reordering
Jesus was not belittling the biological family. Scripture everywhere honors the home. From the beginning, God established family as the cornerstone of society: “Be fruitful and multiply” (Genesis 1:28); “a man shall leave his father and mother and be joined to his wife” (Genesis 2:24). The Ten Commandments protected family integrity (Exodus 20:12, 14). Paul later urged, “Children, obey your parents… Fathers, do not provoke your children” (Ephesians 6:1–4; Colossians 3:20–21). Marriage was sacred to Jesus (Matthew 19:4–6), and even mixed-faith households carried redemptive influence (1 Corinthians 7:14).
So Jesus was not minimizing the earthly home; He was magnifying the eternal one. He was declaring that bloodlines do not grant new birth, and proximity to religious privilege does not equal saving faith. John makes this unmistakably clear: “To all who received Him… He gave the right to become children of God—children born not of natural descent… but born of God” (John 1:12–13).
The kingdom family is formed not by DNA but by faith and obedience—repentance toward God and trust in Christ (Matthew 4:17; John 3; John 14:6). Those who do the Father’s will—believing in the Son—become His true household.
As Charles Haddon Spurgeon once observed, “The nearer we are to Christ, the nearer we are to one another.” Spiritual kinship is deeper than shared genetics; it is shared regeneration.
The Gospel Rewrites Our Identity In Christ
Many in Jesus’ day assumed that being descendants of Abraham secured their place in God’s kingdom (Matthew 3:7–9). Jesus dismantled that false security. Heritage could not replace repentance; works could not substitute for righteousness received by faith (Matthew 5–7). The Sermon on the Mount had already taught that external association does not equal internal transformation. Now He illustrated it: even His own physical relatives could not claim spiritual priority apart from obedient faith.
In Pauline language, believers are “adopted” into God’s family (Romans 8:15). In Christ, the dividing walls collapse: “There is neither Jew nor Greek… for you are all one in Christ Jesus” (Galatians 3:26–29). This new family spans cultures and centuries, drawn “from every nation, tribe, people and language” (Revelation 7:9). Its distinguishing mark is not ancestry but love: “By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another” (John 13:34–35).
Billy Graham put it simply: “The family is the basic unit of society,” yet Scripture reveals an even deeper unit—the redeemed family of God that lasts forever.
When Faith Divides—And Yet Spiritually Unites Us
Jesus’ words also comfort believers whose devotion to Christ strains earthly relationships. Loyalty to Him may at times create painful distance. Yet He assures them they are never orphaned; they gain a greater family. As John Piper reminds us, “God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.” Satisfaction in Christ forms bonds stronger than blood.
George Barna's research repeatedly notes that only a small minority of those who identify as Christians hold a consistently biblical worldview. That sobering reality echoes Jesus’ warning: outward association with religion does not equal inward submission to God’s will. The true test of belonging is faith that produces obedience (See John 14:1, 6).
God basically calls us to know Jesus well, and make Him well known around the world, starting at home -- it's a real close relationship!
Greg Laurie said: Jesus does not call admirers from a distance; He calls followers who trust and obey.
Need an Illustration?
Imagine a man raised in a devout household—scriptures read, hymns sung, prayers spoken daily. Yet years later, he drifts, relying on his upbringing as proof he is secure with God. One day he hears Christ’s words: “Whoever does the will of My Father is My family.” The realization pierces him—he had inherited religion but not new birth. He repents, trusts Christ personally, and discovers a deeper belonging than heritage ever gave. He has not abandoned his earthly family; he has finally joined the eternal one.
I enjoy the old hymn that captures it well:
“Blest be the tie that binds our hearts in Christian love;
The fellowship of kindred minds is like to that above.”
Most people who live accusing (you know, like the devil does..) and grow up secretly writing about their hatred of their flawed parents.. don't change.
Jesus’ question in Matthew 12:48 is like a spiritual scalpel. It cuts away all false confidence in ancestry, morality, or proximity to so-called sacred things. It reveals that the truest family is formed by saving-faith-filled obedience to the Father through the Son (Jesus Christ). Earthly families are gifts of grace; spiritual family is a lasting miracle of grace.
My Point?
The call of God the Father is primarily to Christ His sinless Son. None will have a good excuse before His Judgement Bar.
It's so clear and very urgent -- His call to life -- cuz life here is short and we have the Bible: Therefore, repent, believe, and belong in God's family before it's too late. While you are still sucking air.. you have a chance to repent and be forgiven. Otherwise not.
Be reborn spiritually (the greatest free gift, can't earn it), get a second chance at life from Him who graciously and generously gives second chances to those of us who need em. Clean up your life and then come to God... BAD IDEA. Come to Jesus and He will forgive and clean up your life.
Not merely by a physical birth do we enter His forever family, but by His new birth (a free gift/blessing that's better than all other gifts or blessings. See John 3:3). Not merely by seemingly close association, but by true allegiance. Not merely by biological heritage, but by heart.
And when that allegiance costs you acceptance in your home, remember this: in Christ you gain forever brothers and sisters across the globe that really love you.. yes around the world and across eternity. The household of God is much larger, stronger, and everlasting. I value the people -- and this family dynamic.
So, Who Were Some Of The Parents In The Bible Who Endured Prodigal Children?
1. The Father of the Prodigal Son (Luke 15:11–32)
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Child: The younger son who demanded his inheritance and squandered it in sin.
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What the parent endured:
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Public shame (a son wishing his father dead by asking for inheritance early).
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Long waiting, grief, and hope: “While he was still a long way off, his father saw him…” (Luke 15:20).
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Feeling explicitly shown: Compassion mixed with longing; he watched and waited.
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Outcome: The son returned in repentance and THEN was restored in the family with JOY!
“This my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.” (Luke 15:24)
2. Adam & Eve – Cain the Wanderer (Genesis 4)
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Child: Cain rejected God’s counsel, murdered Abel, and became a fugitive.
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What they endured:
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Loss of one son through murder and the other through exile.
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Feeling implied: Grief beyond words; Scripture records the tragedy without commentary, emphasizing the devastating consequence of sin in the first family.
“You shall be a fugitive and a wanderer on the earth.” (Gen. 4:12)
Outcome: Cain did not return to God.
3. Noah – Ham’s Dishonor (Genesis 9:20–27)
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Child: Ham dishonored his father and showed irreverence toward God’s order.
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What Noah endured:
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Shame and humiliation within his own household.
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Feeling explicitly seen: Noah’s grief surfaces in his prophetic pronouncement over Ham’s line.
Outcome: No clear repentance is recorded.
4. Isaac & Rebekah – Esau (Genesis 25–27)
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Child: Esau despised his birthright and chose worldly priorities over covenant blessings.
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What they endured:
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Deep family grief: Esau’s marriages “made life bitter” for his parents (Gen. 26:35).
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Feeling explicitly stated: Bitterness and sorrow over his spiritual indifference.
Outcome: Esau never truly returned to covenant faith.
5. Jacob – Sons Who Strayed (Genesis 37; 42–45)
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Children: The brothers who sold Joseph into slavery.
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What Jacob endured:
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Years of crushing grief, believing Joseph was dead.
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Feeling explicitly stated:
“All his sons and all his daughters rose up to comfort him, but he refused to be comforted.” (Gen. 37:35)
Outcome: The sons eventually repented and were reconciled.
6. Aaron – Nadab & Abihu (Leviticus 10:1–3)
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Children: Offered unauthorized fire before the Lord.
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What Aaron endured:
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Sudden judgment of both sons in one moment.
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Feeling explicitly shown:
“Aaron held his peace.” (Lev. 10:3)
A stunned, silent grief under God’s righteous judgment.
Outcome: No return; they died in rebellion.
7. Eli – Hophni & Phinehas (1 Samuel 2–4)
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Children: Corrupt priests who despised the Lord.
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What Eli endured:
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Reproof from God and eventual loss of both sons in battle.
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Feeling explicitly recorded: Shock and collapse when hearing their deaths (1 Sam. 4:18).
Outcome: They did not repent.
8. Samuel – Joel & Abijah (1 Samuel 8:1–5)
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Children: Corrupt judges who “turned aside after gain.”
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What Samuel endured:
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Personal grief and national consequences; Israel rejected his leadership partly because of his sons.
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Feeling implied: Deep disappointment, leading him to pray to the Lord (1 Sam. 8:6).
Outcome: No recorded repentance.
9. David – Absalom (2 Samuel 13–18)
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Child: Rebelled, stole hearts, and led a coup against his father.
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What David endured:
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Betrayal, exile, civil war, and the death of his son.
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Feeling explicitly recorded:
“O my son Absalom, my son, my son Absalom! Would I had died instead of you…” (2 Sam. 18:33)
Outcome: Absalom died unreconciled.
10. David – Adonijah (1 Kings 1)
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Child: Attempted to seize the throne in rebellion.
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What David endured:
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Political intrigue and familial heartbreak near the end of life.
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Feeling implied: Pain over a son exalted by indulgent parenting (1 Kings 1:6 notes David had not disciplined him).
Outcome: No true repentance recorded.
11. Hezekiah – Manasseh (2 Kings 21; 2 Chronicles 33)
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Child: One of Judah’s most wicked kings.
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What Hezekiah endured:
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The heartbreak of a godly father seeing a son plunge into idolatry.
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Outcome: Manasseh did repent later (2 Chron. 33:12–13) — a powerful prodigal return story.
12. Hosea – Gomer (Prophetic Marriage Picture) (Hosea 1–3)
Though a spouse, Hosea’s experience mirrors a parent’s heartbreak: loving one who repeatedly runs after sin, yet patiently seeking restoration—an image of God’s love toward His wandering people.
What Exactly Did These Parents Endure?
They in fact suffered:
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Public shame (Luke 15; 2 Sam. 15)
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Grief and prolonged waiting (Gen. 37)
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Bitterness of heart (Gen. 26:35)
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Betrayal and rebellion (2 Sam. 18)
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Silence under God’s discipline (Lev. 10:3)
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National consequences (1 Sam. 8)
God’s mercy remains available as long as life here remains for each of us.
Comfort From The Word For Parents of Prodigals:
“The LORD is gracious and merciful, slow to anger and abounding in steadfast love.” — Psalm 145:8
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” — Proverbs 22:6
“Return, O backsliding children, says the LORD; for I am married to you.” — Jeremiah 3:14
“I will heal their backsliding, I will love them freely.” — Hosea 14:4
“Believe in the Lord Jesus, and you will be saved, you and your household.” — Acts 16:31
“The Lord is not slow… but is patient toward you, not wishing that any should perish.” — 2 Peter 3:9
You Can Encourage Parents Who Are Waiting Year After Year For Prodigals. Me Too -- I Ain't Holding My Breath, But Am Trusting As God Meets All Our Needs.
Charles Spurgeon
“If your children will not hear you, they cannot hinder you from praying for them.”
Monica (about her prodigal son Augustine)
“The child of so many tears shall never perish.”
Billy Graham
“Never give up praying for your prodigal. God specializes in hopeless cases.”
J. C. Ryle
“Parents cannot give grace to their children, but they can plead for it on their behalf.” I'm not the source of it, but I can share the grace I've recieved. I can forgive too, cuz I've been forgiven.. so I will.
Need Some More Encouragement?
The Bible never hides the real anguish and hurts of godly parents with stubborn, wandering egotistical children who live for self etc (mentally ill or not, He knows)—yet it repeatedly shows that God’s mercy often outlasts all the rebellion.
We're flawed, we've made some mistakes we do or don't even know about. There were times when I had my family in a few spiritually sick local churches.. before I knew they were.. and I sincerely apologized for that. We all need to ask the kids to forgive us when we blow it, as I have done more than once. Not easy. God forgives us parents, when we turn to Him.
Some prodigals in the Bible returned Home to their Father (BEAUFIFUL! ie, the younger son, Manasseh), and some actually did not (Absalom, Cain--they apparently went their whole life in sin), but in every case their parent’s faithful love mirrored the heart of God Himself—who still waits, who still calls, and who still receives all who truly repent and come home.
