F4S

Sunday, March 15, 2026

When ya kick an old dog (so to speak) over and over again and it's never once bit you, but has only remained gentle and nice towards you.. please don't get all surprised, when it no longer wants to get near you. Sure, understandabke, when it starts prefering time away.

Giving the gift of space can send a message, but pray about it. Sometimes ya need to write what God's word says. 

Sometimes ya just need to shake the dust off your feet and move on to someone wanting to hear the truth, believer. 

“Do not give dogs what is holy; do not throw your pearls before swine, lest they trample them underfoot and turn and tear you to pieces.” —Jesus, Matthew 7:6

“Truth crushed to earth shall rise again.” William Cullen Bryant

“The Lord will bring to light what is hidden in darkness and will expose the motives of the heart.”1 Corinthians 4:5

“Woe to those who acquit the guilty for a bribe, but deny justice to the innocent.”Isaiah 5:23

“They repay me evil for good.”Psalm 35:12

Remember when.. “They were seeking false testimony against Jesus so that they might put Him to death.” Matthew 26:59

Jesus gladly spent time with sinners to inflence and save them. He was indeed the Friend of sinners and he expects us to believers to do the same, but he also wants us to limit our times with those who would pull us down.

Jesus never sinned once, but they together determined that he did sin and that he'd pay with his life on a cross.. to send a message to other upstarts. 

Sometimes the most dignified response to repeated injury in your direction.. is not a louder bark or fierce bite, but a quieter distance. Get alone with God about it. 

The Verdict Before the Trial

Some courts are strange.
No witness is called,
no evidence weighed,
no patient listening given.

The verdict is written first—
ink dried before the hearing even begins.
And somehow an innocent righteous person (not self-righteous)
..stands already condemned.

There are people who build their own sort of peace
on the repeated blaming of another.. or submit to doing that from their spiritual leader.
They write your name on the charge they've discussed,
not because it is at all true,
but because it is convenient for them.

You explain all you can. 

They, through one spokesperson, say this really confirms what I've (we've) determined. 

They do not listen or hear cuz they don't care at all and truth at this point doesn't matter. Only their made-up story does. 

You stand quietly for time.
They call it guilt.

You defend yourself.
They call it denial.

And so their sentence falls
for a crime never committed.

Yet God and time have a way
of exposing such strange courts and crooked scales.
Truth walks slowly—
but it walks farther than false accusations.

So the wounded believer does not speak or lift up their voice forever.
He prays and lays it all down,

Doing my best I commit the rest. 
..steps outside the courtroom of fools,
and leaves the verdict up to heaven's judgment bar.

There dwells One Judge
who sees it all, who sees hearts -- sees through smoke and mirrors and rumor,
and guess what.. no lie survives long
in the heat of God's holy light. 
Weeping may endure for a time, but JOY comes in the morning. 

The kindness of believers is not really weakness—but it should not be mistaken for permission.

It's been said: The innocent righteous person does not need the loudest voice—they only need some time and light. 

Now, Christians are REALLY NOT spiritual dogs or spiritual swine. 

When Jesus Said, “Do Not Give Dogs What Is Sacred.”

We, believers, must daily employ discernment in biblical evangelism.

Millions of people today cherish their dogs like family. We buy them beds, feed them well, and talk to them like old friends. But in the ancient Middle East, dogs were not pets curled up beside the fireplace. They were scavengers—wild, mangy, roaming the streets, feeding on refuse. To the Jewish mind they symbolized uncleanness, shamelessness, and moral disregard.

The Bible reflects that cultural reality. In Luke 16:21, the dogs lick the sores of the poor man Lazarus. In Proverbs 26:11, the dog returning to its vomit illustrates the fool who repeats his folly. And in 1 Samuel 17:43, the giant Goliath snarls at David, “Am I a dog, that you come to me with sticks?”

Against that backdrop, the words of Jesus land with startling clarity. In the Sermon on the Mount He says:

“Do not give dogs what is holy, and do not throw your pearls before pigs, lest they trample them underfoot and turn to attack you.”Matthew 7:6

This is not cruelty; it is wisdom. Jesus is teaching His followers that the gospel—the good news of salvation—is infinitely precious. It is a pearl of immeasurable value. But pearls have no value to pigs. They cannot recognize beauty or worth. They will only crush them under their hooves.

The Lord is drawing a vivid picture: some hearts are so hardened that they do not merely ignore the gospel—they mock it, trample it, and attack the messenger.


Judgment vs. Discernment

This verse sits inside a section where Jesus addresses judgment. Just moments earlier He warned:

“First take the plank out of your own eye, and then you will see clearly to remove the speck from your brother’s eye.”Matthew 7:5

In other words, believers must never be hypocritical judges. But neither should they be naïve. Christianity does not call us to blind gullibility. It calls us to spiritual discernment.

As the apostle Paul writes:

“The spiritual person judges all things.” 1 Corinthians 2:15

Discernment is simply the Spirit-trained ability to recognize when someone is sincerely seeking truth—and when someone is only ridiculing it.

The great evangelist Billy Graham once wrote,

“The gospel is offered freely to all, but it cannot be forced on anyone.”

That insight captures the heart of Matthew 7:6.


When Persistence Becomes Futility

Jesus Himself modeled both compassion and discernment. He ate with sinners, taught tax collectors, and welcomed the broken. The gospel is never withheld from repentant hearts.

Yet He also instructed His disciples that there comes a moment when continued argument becomes pointless.

“If anyone will not receive you or listen to your words, shake off the dust from your feet when you leave that house or town.” Matthew 10:14

That action was not bitterness—it was testimony. It meant, You have heard the truth. The responsibility now rests with you.

The apostle Paul faced such a moment in Corinth. When the synagogue leaders hardened themselves against the gospel, Scripture records:

“They opposed and reviled him… and he said, ‘Your blood be on your own heads! I am innocent. From now on I will go to the Gentiles.’” Acts 18:6

Paul did not stop preaching. He simply moved next door—to people who were willing to listen.


The Sad Reality of Hardened Hearts

Scripture often describes this tragic pattern. Some people repeatedly hear truth but refuse to surrender to it. Their response becomes predictable.

Peter warned about such individuals:

“A dog returns to its vomit, and a washed sow returns to wallowing in the mud.”2 Peter 2:22

It is a graphic metaphor, but it reveals a sobering truth: without a changed heart, people return to their old ways.

The late pastor Chuck Smith once observed,

“You cannot argue a man into the kingdom of God. The Spirit must draw him.”

Evangelism, therefore, is not spiritual arm-twisting at all. It's not about pressure or manipulation. It is faithful witness (living the life and telling His message).


The Balance: Compassion and Wisdom

Here is the tension every believer must learn.

We must be compassionate enough to share the gospel widely.

Yet wise enough to recognize when someone only wants to mock Christ.

As John MacArthur explains,

“The gospel is not cheap. It is holy. It should never be treated like a trinket in the marketplace.”

That is why prayer must saturate evangelism. Only God knows when a heart is ready.

Barna research consistently shows that many Americans have heard the gospel message repeatedly, yet fewer than half express any serious interest in following Christ. This reality should not discourage believers—but it should remind us that persuasion alone cannot produce conversion. Only the Spirit of God can awaken the soul.

As Jesus said:

“No one can come to Me unless the Father who sent Me draws him.” John 6:44


A Story Every Wise Soul-Winner Learns

Many seasoned evangelists tell the same story.

A young believer once tried to argue a hardened skeptic into faith. For hours he quoted Scripture, pleaded, and reasoned. The man laughed at every word. Finally an older Christian pulled the young man aside and quietly said, “Son, you’ve shared the pearl. Now stop feeding it to pigs.”

The young believer walked away discouraged—until weeks later he met another man who was hungry for truth. Within minutes that man asked, “Can you tell me how to be saved?”

The lesson became clear: sometimes the most loving thing you can do is move on to the next open door.


The Gospel Is Still for Everyone

None of this means the gospel is restricted. Jesus welcomed sinners, prostitutes, tax collectors, and thieves. The cross was built for the worst of humanity.

The point is not who deserves the gospel—no one does.

The point is who is willing to hear it.

The hymn writer captured it beautifully:

“There is a fountain filled with blood
Drawn from Emmanuel’s veins;
And sinners plunged beneath that flood
Lose all their guilty stains.”

That fountain is open to all—but not all will come.


The Simple Application

So what does Matthew 7:6 teach believers today?

Three clear truths emerge:

  1. The gospel is sacred. It is a priceless pearl entrusted to us.

  2. Discernment matters. Not everyone who hears it wants it.

  3. Our responsibility is faithfulness, not forced results.

We are called to sow the seed. Only God can reap and then make it grow.

And that frees the believer from frustration.

Share Christ boldly. Love people sincerely. Pray fervently.

But when someone repeatedly mocks the Savior and hardens his heart, Jesus gives permission to step back, shake the dust from your feet, and carry the pearl to another soul who may recognize its worth.

Because somewhere—often just around the corner—there is a heart ready to receive it.

God's word reminds believers that gentleness does not mean endless exposure to the harm of sinners:

“As much as depends on you, live peaceably with all men.” Romans 12:18

And wisdom literature speaks to restraint:

“Even a fool who keeps silent is considered wise.” Proverbs 17:28

Do good to your enemies.. give them the gift of space if your presence really bugs them. 

What does it mean in the Bible to heap coals of fire on the head? See Romans 12:20 and Matthew 5:44

Burning coals are mentioned several times in Scripture, usually referring to the literal red-hot coals of a fire (John 21:9). Man, I pray that the Holy Spirit will convict in the conscience so the sinner will get saved and then blessed

Romans 12:20, the apostle Paul the Apostle writes:

“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. For in doing so you will heap burning coals on his head.”

Paul is quoting Book of Proverbs 25:21–22.

This teaching fits directly with the command of Jesus Christ in Gospel of Matthew 5:44:

“Love your enemies, bless those who curse you, do good to those who hate you, and pray for those who spitefully use you and persecute you.”

What the Expression Means

Most Bible scholars understand the phrase in three complementary ways:

1. Stirring the conscience
Kindness toward someone who mistreats you often produces deep conviction or shame.
Your goodness exposes their wrongdoing without revenge.

2. Leading to repentance
The goal is not humiliation but moral awakening—that the person might realize their wrong and change.

3. Leaving judgment to God
Romans 12:19 says, “Vengeance is Mine, I will repay, says the Lord.”
When you respond with goodness instead of revenge, you entrust justice to God rather than taking it into your own hands.

An Ancient Cultural Picture

Some scholars think the image may come from an ancient Near Eastern practice where live coals were carried in a container on the head to start a new household fire.
In that sense, your kindness supplies the “fire” that rekindles warmth in a cold heart.

The Big Biblical Principle

The teaching is simple but powerful:

  • Evil answered with evil multiplies evil.

  • Evil answered with goodness exposes it.

The Apostle Paul in Romans 12:21 teaches:

“Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.”

Sup with “heaping coals of fire” and its meaning? It's about responding to that kicking in your teeth so to speak -- responding to unwarranted hostility with God's wisdom and grace so that a sinner's conscience is ignited and God’s justice prevails—not your own personal vengeance.

You haven't growled, snapped, fought back, or tried to hurt. People kicked with no room to reason it out,  eventually learn it’s just wiser to step back away from someone who keeps wounding them. Let them move far away if they feel drawn toward those kinds of locations, or just stay away for the sake of peace. Don't get in their way. God is sovereign. 

When someone has been consistently kind, patient, and non-threatening, yet keeps getting hurt without cause, it’s only natural that he eventually keeps his distance. Have you shared the gospel?  Shake the dust off and move on. This isn’t bitterness—it’s wisdom and respect for God's word.

teaches that love and forgiveness do not require staying close to people who continually harm you. Scripture often instructs believers to step back, separate, or avoid those who persist in destructive behavior.

Here is a broad, thorough list of passages that support creating distance when someone keeps hurting you.

1. Avoid Those Who Cause Division or Harm

Romans 16:17 — “Watch out for those who cause divisions and create obstacles contrary to the doctrine you have been taught; avoid them.”

Titus 3:10 — “Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.”

2 Thessalonians 3:6 — “Keep away from every brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the tradition you received from us.”

2 Thessalonians 3:14 — “Take note of that person, and have nothing to do with them, that they may feel ashamed.”

2. Do Not Associate With Persistently Sinful People

1 Corinthians 5:11 — “Do not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral, greedy, an idolater, slanderer, drunkard, or swindler. Do not even eat with such people.”

1 Corinthians 15:33 — “Bad company corrupts good character.”

3. Withdraw From Toxic or Corrupt Influences

2 Timothy 3:1–5 — After describing abusive, arrogant, unloving people, Scripture commands: “Have nothing to do with such people.”

Proverbs 22:24–25 — “Do not make friends with a hot-tempered person… or you may learn their ways.”

Proverbs 14:7 — “Stay away from a fool, for you will not find knowledge on their lips.”

Proverbs 13:20 — “Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.”

4. Leave When People Reject Truth

Matthew 10:14 — “If anyone will not welcome you or listen to your words, shake the dust off your feet when you leave.”

Acts 13:50–51 — Paul and Barnabas were rejected and shook the dust from their feet and moved on.

Acts 18:6 — Paul said, “Your blood be on your own heads! I am innocent… From now on I will go elsewhere.”

5. Do Not Walk With the Wicked

Psalm 1:1 — “Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way sinners take.”

Psalm 26:4–5 — “I do not sit with deceitful men… I avoid the company of evildoers.”

Psalm 101:4–7 — “I will have nothing to do with evil… no one who practices deceit will dwell in my house.”

6. Protect Your Heart

Proverbs 4:23 — “Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.”

Proverbs 19:19 — “A hot-tempered person must pay the penalty; rescue them once and you will have to do it again.”

Proverbs 21:19 — “Better to live in a desert than with a quarrelsome and nagging person.”

7. Separate From Ungodly Influence

2 Corinthians 6:14–17 — “What fellowship has light with darkness?… Come out from among them and be separate.”

Ephesians 5:11 — “Have nothing to do with the fruitless deeds of darkness.”

8. Even Jesus Modeled Walking Away

Luke 4:28–30 — When people tried to kill Him, Jesus walked away and left.

John 2:24–25 — Jesus did not entrust Himself to certain people because He knew their hearts.

John 6:66–67 — When many disciples turned away, Jesus let them leave rather than chase them.

9. Wisdom About Contentious People

Proverbs 17:14 — “Starting a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a dispute breaks out.”

Proverbs 20:3 — “It is to one’s honor to avoid strife.”

Proverbs 26:4 — “Do not answer a fool according to his folly.”

You can forgive in your heart.. someone and still create distance.

Jesus taught:

Matthew 10:16 — “Be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.”

Forgiveness releases bitterness, but wisdom recognizes patterns.

* Principles from Scripture help:

Love your enemies — Matthew 5:44

Forgive others — Colossians 3:13

But do not keep walking close with those who repeatedly practice harm — Proverbs, Romans, Titus, and the apostles make this very clear. Evil communication from evil company pulls in the wrong direction.. "Bad comany corrupts good morals".. so don't be pulled down by any worldly stupid influence 

Saturday, March 14, 2026

God Chastizes His Child. Are you one? Is your child one? Not all are. He himself disciplines rebellion because His love requires wise correction.

When your child becomes an adult, the relationship of course, will change some, and they are no longer under your delegated authority as their parents. Duh! If they wander in the far country so to speak and choose to remain lost, they are now God's problem. 

When your children grow up and move out, or really should move out.. the way you relate to each one of them will completely change, but that doesn't mean that you are finished with your duty of being a godly parent. 

As an aging parent, I will not be put in “time out” or trained by my own manipulative godless child. If I am not allowed to visit and just be myself in your home—having done nothing to harm you or your family (or anyone)—then there is no reason left to continue showing up for the purpose of pretending everything is peachy-fine while your hurtful jackass choices remain unaddressed.

Conviction: I am responsible for myself and my choices, and not another adult. My life won't ever orbit around a puffed-up, willful, spoiled, or manipulative child, even after they grow up and choose to remain hardened, rebellious, hateful, vengeful, and bitter. Contrary to what many parents do, I simply refuse to bow before any childish idol.

God in the Bible recognizes that stubborn rebellion—especially when someone rejects truth and correction—often requires firm boundaries and consequences, even within family relationships. A few passages speak directly to this principle.

1. God Himself disciplines rebellion because His love requires wise correction.
Book of Proverbs teaches that correction is part of real love:

  • “Whoever spares the rod hates his son, but he who loves him is diligent to discipline him.” (Proverbs 13:24)

  • “Folly is bound up in the heart of a child, but the rod of discipline drives it far from him.” (Proverbs 22:15)

The principle is simple: without consequences, rebellion grows stronger. Don't block, pay to avoid (for you or another), or in any way hinder consequenses that might teach. No matter what you feel, don't become an enabler covering for the drunk or other sinner in his prideful sin. 

2. Discipline is meant to produce wisdom and maturity. Start with it wisely, properly, and pretty early too. Be merciful and gracious, but not overly. As they grow up, let the consequeses match the offenses. 
Scripture says:

  • “Discipline your son, and he will give you rest; he will give delight to your heart.” (Proverbs 29:17)

A person who refuses correction becomes hardened. Proverbs 29:1 warns:

  • “He who is often reproved yet stiffens his neck will suddenly be broken beyond healing.”

3. When someone refuses correction, separation can become necessary.
The Bible sometimes calls for distance when a person persists in destructive behavior.

In Second Epistle to the Thessalonians, the apostle Paul instructs believers:

  • “Keep away from any brother who is walking in idleness and not in accord with the teaching.” (2 Thessalonians 3:6)

  • “If anyone does not obey what we say… take note of that person and have nothing to do with him, that he may be ashamed.” (2 Thessalonians 3:14)

The goal isn’t revenge Bro—"Vengence is mine says the Lord" (Romans 12:19-21) it’s a wake-up call that might lead to repentance 

4. Even Jesus recognized that loyalty to truth can divide families.
Jesus Christ said in Gospel of Matthew:

  • “A man’s enemies will be those of his own household.” (Matthew 10:36)

Following Christ sometimes means enduring hostility from those closest to us.

5. Parents are not commanded to enable sinful behavior ever, not even a little bit.
Scripture teaches love, but not being controlled by someone’s rebellion.
Book of Galatians says:

  • “Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” (Galatians 6:7)

Allowing someone to reap the consequences of their choices is often the very thing God uses to humble a hard heart.

6. The example of the father in the parable of the prodigal son.
In Gospel of Luke 15, the father did not chase or fund the rebellion of the younger son.
He let the son leave and experience the results of his decisions. Only after the son came to his senses did reconciliation happen.

That story shows an important balance:

  • The father did not control the son’s choices.

  • He did not enable the rebellion.

  • But he remained ready to forgive if repentance came.

A wise biblical posture for parents in this situation often looks like this:

• Stand firmly in truth without apologizing for knowing and following Christ.. unless you follow Him foolishly. When I talk about application of Scripture, I always like to add in that word WISELY APPLY.
• Refuse to be manipulated or punished for someone else’s anger.
• Allow natural consequences to teach what lectures cannot.
• Keep the door open to reconciliation if genuine repentance appears.
• Pray, because only God can soften a hardened heart.

As Proverbs 19:3 observes, many people ruin their own lives and then rage against others for it.

Even when the relationship is painful, a parent can still walk in truth, dignity, and prayer, trusting that God sees the situation and is able to work in ways no human argument can.

If you want, I can also show you “10 biblical principles for parents dealing with a hardened adult child” drawn from Scripture that many Christian counselors and pastors have found helpful.

What if the folly isn't driven away even when they become an adult?

What if you did discipline your prideful son very wisely (by matching the consequence to their their act of rebellion) through all the growing-up years and now they've grown up and still haven't given you rest? 

even wise parenting cannot guarantee a wise child. The Bible repeatedly shows that people can receive good instruction for years and still choose a stubborn path.

1. Every person ultimately chooses his own way.
Book of Proverbs says:
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.” (Proverbs 22:6)

That proverb is just a general principle, it's not an iron-clad promise from God. Wisdom literature describes what normally happens—not what must happen in every case. A child can still resist the truth because each person is free morally agent responsible before God.. even if they are not free as a slave to their sin.

2. Even Godly parents in the Bible had rebellious children.
Scripture is very honest about this.

  • Samuel was a faithful prophet, yet his sons “did not walk in his ways” (1 Samuel 8:3).

  • David loved God deeply, but his son Absalom became proud, rebellious, and destructive (2 Samuel 15).

  • Even the righteous king Hezekiah had a son, Manasseh, who became one of the most wicked kings in Israel’s history (2 Kings 21).

Those examples show something important: a godly parent does not guarantee a godly child.

3. Some hearts remain stubborn for a long time.
The Bible warns that repeated rejection of truth can harden a person.

Book of Proverbs says:
“He who is often reproved, yet stiffens his neck, will suddenly be broken beyond healing.” (Proverbs 29:1)

The problem at that stage is not the parent’s instruction—it is the person’s prideful refusal to receive correction.

4. Parents cannot control an adult child’s heart.
Once a child becomes an adult, the responsibility shifts fully onto them.

Book of Ezekiel states a principle:
“The soul who sins shall die… the son shall not suffer for the iniquity of the father” (Ezekiel 18:20). And the father not for the iniquity of the son. 

Before God, each person answers for his own choices.

5. Sometimes the only teacher left is consequence.
There are moments when words no longer work. In those cases, Scripture often shows God allowing people to experience the fruit of their choices.

Book of Galatians says:
“Whatever a man sows, that he will also reap.” (Galatians 6:7)

Allowing someone to reap what they sow is not cruelty—it can be the last remaining form of instruction.

6. Even in Jesus’ parable, the prodigal son changed only after hitting bottom.
In Gospel of Luke 15, the son did not come to his senses until famine, poverty, and humiliation stripped away his pride.

The father could not lecture the rebellion out of him.
The son had to experience the consequences of his own choices.

A difficult but freeing truth Scripture teaches parents:

You can be responsible for your faithfulness, but not for another adult’s repentance.

Your role becomes:

• Stand firm in Christ, prayerfully walk in His truth uncompromisingly.
• Refuse, reject the manipulation or disrespect.
• Allow consequences to teach because they will follow after.
• Keep your heart open to reconciliation from God's working.. if repentance comes ..and it might never.
• Entrust the person to God.

Sometimes the very season that looks like failure is the road God uses to eventually humble a proud heart.

As one old Christian observation says:

“A parent can plant truth, water it with prayer, and guard it with discipline—but only God can make it grow in the heart.”

Some parents are always taking up and bearing the burden of tough consequences their adult children have earned for themselves.. it blocks and buffers the pain the adult child would normally feel. If the parent keeps spending money to protect their little children of consequences due to the kids bad choices then the parent will more than likely end up paying for their criminal court cases to defend them as they are an adult.

The Scriptures recognize that misguided compassion can sometimes strengthen rebellion instead of healing it. Love must be sincere, but it must also be wise.

Book of Proverbs gives a striking warning about rescuing someone from the consequences of their own destructive behavior:

“A man of great anger will pay the penalty; if you rescue him, you will have to do it again.” (Proverbs 19:19)

In other words, repeatedly shielding someone from consequences often guarantees the behavior continues.

The same wisdom appears again in Proverbs:

“Whoever pampers his servant from childhood will in the end find him his heir.” (Proverbs 29:21)

The principle is clear: constant indulgence breeds entitlement, not maturity.

Scripture also teaches that consequences are part of God’s moral order:

In Book of Galatians we read:

“Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap.” (Galatians 6:7)

When parents continually step in to absorb the cost of a grown child’s reckless choices—financially, legally, emotionally—they may unintentionally interrupt the very process God designed to bring a person to repentance.

Even the father in the story Jesus told in Gospel of Luke did not fund the rebellion of his younger son. Once the inheritance was taken, the father allowed the son to experience famine, poverty, and humiliation. Only then did the young man “come to himself” (Luke 15:17).

Jesus Christ was illustrating a painful truth: sometimes the road back to wisdom runs through the valley of consequences.

Many Christian thinkers have summarized this principle well.

The 19th-century preacher Charles Spurgeon warned:

“He who excuses sin encourages it.”

And the evangelist Billy Graham often reminded parents:

“Love is not indulgence. Love seeks what is best for the soul, even when it is difficult.”

Scripture itself captures the heart of tough love in Book of Hebrews:

“The Lord disciplines the one He loves… For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness.” (Hebrews 12:6,11)

True love sometimes means refusing to participate in someone else’s destruction.

A wise parent may therefore reach a place where love says:

• I will pray for you.
• I will welcome repentance.
• I will not enable rebellion.
• I will not absorb consequences that belong to you.

That kind of love is not cruel—it is clear-eyed and morally courageous.

As Proverbs quietly reminds us, a person who continually rejects wisdom eventually faces the weight of his own choices. And sometimes the very pain we wish to spare someone from becomes the tool God uses to awaken their conscience and bring them home.

What is another way to describe tough love.. it's tough because a parent never feels like drawing the line, or holding line, hokding the course? To have biblical convictions that you know are right and yo hold to Christ with those biblical conventions are two different things. Jesus lifted discipline, life and did what he Didn't feel like doing. A held to his convictions and never sinned.

Another way to describe “tough love” in biblical terms is steadfast love, courageous love, or convictional love—love that refuses to abandon truth even when the heart feels pulled the other way.

The Bible often describes this kind of strength with words like steadfast, firm, and immovable.

First Epistle to the Corinthians says:

“Be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 15:58)

A parent holding the line with a rebellious adult child is often doing exactly that—remaining steady when emotions would rather give in.

In Scripture, love is never defined as indulgence. Real love is committed to what is right, even when it hurts in the moment.

Book of Proverbs says:

“Faithful are the wounds of a friend.” (Proverbs 27:6)

Sometimes the most loving act is the one that refuses to cooperate with someone’s self-destruction.

This kind of love is difficult because, as you noted, the heart rarely feels like holding the line. Yet Scripture calls believers to stand on conviction rather than emotion.

Jesus Christ Himself modeled this perfectly. In Gospel of Luke we read that before the cross He prayed:

“Father, if you are willing, remove this cup from me; nevertheless, not my will, but yours, be done.” (Luke 22:42)

He did not act according to what He felt in that moment but according to what He knew was right.

That is the heart of biblical perseverance—holding to truth when feelings pull in another direction.

Epistle to the Hebrews describes Christ this way:

“For the joy set before Him He endured the cross.” (Hebrews 12:2)

In other words, He held the course because of conviction, not comfort.

Tough love. Man, it's tough for the one on either end.. giving it or otherwise.. on the other end. My fleshly nature, the corrupt world system, a wayward society, my natural feelings.. they just don't ever want to give out tough love. So “tough love” might also be described as:

Steadfast love — a love for real believers to show, that refuses to move off truth.
Courageous love — a respectful love willing to endure conflict for someone’s good.
Convictional love — a love governed by the Holy Spirit and Scripture rather than by emotion.
Redemptive love — a love that starts on it's knees and allows consequences to happen and they will.. so that true (instead of fake) repentance becomes possible.

The difficult truth is that drawing and holding a boundary almost never feels natural to a loving parent. Yet sometimes the most loving act is not rescuing someone from consequences but standing firmly in truth while leaving the door open to repentance.

As one old Christian saying puts it:

“Love that never confronts is not love at all—it is surrender.”

And Scripture reminds believers in the Epistle of James:

“Whoever brings back a sinner from his wandering will save his soul from death.” (James 5:20)

Sometimes the path that leads someone back to wisdom begins with a parent who loves them enough to stop protecting them from their own rebellion.

God is patient with stubborn people and powerful enough to transform them. Here are several clear examples from both the Old and New Testaments.


1. King Nebuchadnezzar II — Pride Broken by God

Nebuchadnezzar ruled the greatest empire of his day and openly glorified himself.

“Is not this great Babylon that I have built by my mighty power and for the honor of my majesty?” — Book of Daniel 4:30

Because of his arrogance, God humbled him. For a period of time he lost his sanity and lived like an animal. When his pride was finally broken, he acknowledged the sovereignty of God.

“Now I… praise and extol and honor the King of heaven… those who walk in pride He is able to abase.— Daniel 4:37

This story is one of the clearest examples of God humbling a proud ruler and bringing him to confession.


2. Manasseh — A Violent King Who Repented

Manasseh may be the most shocking turnaround in Scripture.

He did some serious wrong-doin's:

  • Promoted idolatry

  • Practiced witchcraft

  • Filled Jerusalem with innocent blood (Too many in the Western world have killed babies. One is too many)

“Manasseh seduced them to do more evil than the nations…” Second Book of Kings 21:9

Yet after years of rebellion, he was captured and humiliated.

“When he was in distress, he sought the favor of the Lord his God and humbled himself greatly.” — Second Book of Chronicles 33:12

God restored him, and Manasseh then removed idols and commanded Judah to serve the Lord.

His story proves no life is too far gone for repentance.


3. Moses — From Violent Anger to Humility

Before becoming Israel’s great leader, Moses acted out of rage and pride.

“He looked this way and that… and killed the Egyptian.” Book of Exodus 2:12

After forty years in the wilderness, God transformed him.

“Now the man Moses was very humble, more than all men who were on the face of the earth.” Numbers 12:3

God often reshapes fiery personalities into servants.


4. Jacob — A Deceiver Wrestled Into Faith

Jacob spent years manipulating others—his brother, his father, even his father-in-law.

His turning point came when God confronted him.

“Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel; for you have struggled with God and with men and prevailed.”Book of Genesis 32:28

His limp afterward symbolized a man broken of self-reliance.


5. Jonah — A Bitter Prophet with a Hardened Heart

Jonah ran from God and later became angry that God showed mercy.

“O Lord… that is why I fled… for I knew that you are a gracious God.” Jonah 4:2

God patiently corrected Jonah’s proud nationalism and hardened heart.


6. Apostle Paul — From Violent Persecutor to Apostle

Paul’s former life was aggressive hostility toward Christianity.

“Saul was breathing threats and murder against the disciples.”Acts of the Apostles 9:1

Yet Christ confronted him dramatically.

“Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” — Acts 9:4

Paul later described himself this way:

“Formerly I was a blasphemer, persecutor, and violent man, but I received mercy.” — First Epistle to Timothy 1:13

Paul became one of Christianity’s greatest missionaries.


7. Simon Peter — Pride Before Brokenness

Peter once insisted he would never deny Jesus.

“Even if all fall away, I will not.” Gospel of Mark 14:29

But he denied Christ three times.

“He broke down and wept.” — Mark 14:72

After this humbling, Christ restored him and used him powerfully.


8. The Prodigal Son — Rebellion That Leads to Repentance

Jesus’ parable describes a son who wasted his inheritance in reckless living.

“He came to himself…”Gospel of Luke 15:17

When he returned, the father welcomed him with grace—one of the most beautiful pictures of repentance and restoration in Scripture.


Encouraging Biblical Pattern

Across Scripture the pattern is clear:

Pride → Humbling → Repentance → Restoration

“God resists the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”
Epistle of James 4:6


Encouraging Statistics from Scripture

These numbers illustrate God’s patience.

The years some people resisted before the transformation of repentance with faith.. blows me away

PersonApprox. Years in Rebellion
Manasseh~30–35 years of evil rule
Moses40 years in wilderness before calling
Paul~30 years as a Pharisee before conversion
NebuchadnezzarMany years of pride before humbling
JacobDecades of scheming before transformation

The Bible repeatedly shows God working over long timelines.

“The Lord is not slow… but patient, not wanting any to perish.” — 2 Peter 3:9


Quotes of Truth About Hard Hearts Changing

Augustine of Hippo

“God had one Son on earth without sin, but never one without suffering.”

C. S. Lewis

“Pain is God’s megaphone to rouse a deaf world.”

John Newton

“I am a great sinner, but Christ is a great Savior.”


Worship Lyrics About Redemption

From the hymn Amazing Grace

“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound
That saved a wretch like me
I once was lost, but now am found
Was blind, but now I see.”

From Come Thou Fount of Every Blessing

“Prone to wander, Lord, I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love.”

These lyrics echo the biblical truth that God rescues wanderers.


One of the Most Encouraging Promises

“I will give you a new heart and put a new spirit within you.”
Book of Ezekiel 36:26

The Bible’s message is clear:
God specializes in breaking down pride and rescuing the hardest hearts, and many sinners specialize in not seeing their pride broken down. ie, Pharaoh, Judas

Q: What are 10 of the most dramatic conversions where God rescued extremely hardened.. but repentant men?

1. Apostle Paul — Violent Enemy Turned Apostle

Paul began as Christianity’s fiercest persecutor.

“Saul was breathing threats and murder against the disciples of the Lord.”Acts of the Apostles 9:1

He approved the killing of Stephen and hunted believers house to house.

Yet Christ confronted him on the Damascus road.

“Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” — Acts 9:4

Paul later wrote:

“Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst.”First Epistle to Timothy 1:15

From persecutor to missionary theologian, Paul became one of the most influential believers in history.


2. Manasseh — Possibly the Most Evil King Who Repented

Manasseh’s crimes were extreme.

  • Idolatry

  • Sorcery

  • Child sacrifice

  • Murder of innocent people

“He shed very much innocent blood.” 2 Kings 21:16

After years of rebellion, he was captured and humiliated.

“In his distress he sought the favor of the Lord… and humbled himself greatly.”2 Chronicles 33:12

God restored him, and he then removed idols and commanded Judah to serve the Lord.


3. King Nebuchadnezzar II — Pride Shattered by God

Nebuchadnezzar glorified himself for building Babylon.

“Is not this great Babylon that I have built?”Book of Daniel 4:30

God struck him with madness until he acknowledged heaven’s authority.

“Those who walk in pride He is able to humble.” — Daniel 4:37

The once-arrogant emperor publicly praised God.


4. Jacob — Deceiver Transformed

Jacob spent decades manipulating people.

He deceived his father and cheated his brother.

But after wrestling with God:

“Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel.” Book of Genesis 32:28

The schemer became the patriarch of Israel.


5. Moses — Murderer Turned Humble Leader

Before God called him, Moses killed a man in rage.

“He struck down the Egyptian and hid him in the sand.” — Book of Exodus 2:12

Forty years later, God had reshaped him.

“Now the man Moses was very humble.”Numbers 12:3

The former fugitive became Israel’s great deliverer.


6. Jonah — Rebel Prophet with a Hardened Heart

Jonah ran from God and resented God’s mercy.

He fled instead of preaching repentance to Nineveh.

“Jonah rose to flee… from the presence of the Lord.” Jonah 1:3

Through discipline and mercy, God corrected him and used him to spark one of the greatest revivals recorded in Scripture.


7. Simon Peter — Proud Disciple Broken by Failure

Peter confidently promised loyalty.

“Even if all fall away, I will not.” Gospel of Mark 14:29

Hours later he denied Jesus three times.

“He broke down and wept.” — Mark 14:72

Jesus restored him and Peter later preached boldly at Pentecost.


8. Zacchaeus — Greedy Man Turned Generous

Tax collectors were infamous for corruption.

When Zacchaeus encountered Jesus, his heart changed. 

“Half of my goods I give to the poor.” Luke 19:8

That's a change where there was restitution, not merely making amends. We can't pay for forgiveness. Is amends even biblical? There must be more! Jesus declared:

“Today salvation has come to this house.” — Luke 19:9


9. The Prodigal Son — Arrogant Rebel Who Came Home

The son squandered everything in reckless living.

“He came to himself…” Gospel of Luke 15:17

His return shows the Father's readiness to forgive repentant sinners.


10. The Penitent Thief — Last-Minute Redemption

One criminal mocked Jesus, but the other rebuked him and turned in faith.

“Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom.”Gospel of Luke 23:42

Jesus answered:

“Today you will be with Me in paradise.” — Luke 23:43

Even a lifetime of sin was overcome by a moment of genuine faith.


A Powerful Pattern in Scripture

Have you suffered some loss? Go study each person within the context. Across the Bible, the same progression appears:

Pride → Confrontation → Pain  → Humbling → Repentance → Transformation

“Before destruction the heart of a man is haughty, but humility comes before honor.” Proverbs 18:12


Encouraging Historical Quote

C. S. Lewis

“God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our conscience, but shouts in our pains.”


Hopeful Hymn Lyrics

From Amazing Grace

“Through many dangers, toils and snares
I have already come;
’Tis grace hath brought me safe thus far,
And grace will lead me home.”


God's Got Some Encouragement

Many of these men resisted God for decades before their hearts changed.

The Bible repeatedly reminds us:

“With God nothing will be impossible.” Gospel of Luke 1:37

Kurt, now give me 8 stories where God ..eventually humbled rebellious sons or hardened real enemies after their long seasons of pride, stubbornness, or hostility(We all were enemies of the Cross). 

1. Joseph — Brothers Who Sold Him, Later Broken by Conviction

Joseph’s brothers were jealous, cruel, and unrepentant when they sold him into slavery.

“They hated him and could not speak peaceably to him.”Genesis 37:4

For about 20 years, they carried the secret. When famine forced them to Egypt, God confronted their conscience.

“We are truly guilty concerning our brother.” — Genesis 42:21

Their hardened hearts were finally softened, and reconciliation came.


2. The Prodigal Son — Pride Collapsing in the Pigpen

The younger son arrogantly demanded his inheritance and left home.

“He wasted his possessions with prodigal living.” Gospel of Luke 15:13

After losing everything and facing starvation:

“He came to himself.” — Luke 15:17

His pride was broken by suffering, leading him back to his father.


3. Absalom — A Rebellious Son Destroyed by Pride

Absalom slowly built a rebellion against his father.

“So Absalom stole the hearts of the men of Israel.” — 2 Samuel 15:6

His pride and ambition eventually destroyed him.

“Absalom… was caught in the branches of a great oak.” — 2 Samuel 18:9

Though tragic, the story shows that God ultimately stops rebellious pride.


4. King Nebuchadnezzar II — Imperial Pride Humbled

For years Nebuchadnezzar glorified himself.

“Is not this great Babylon that I have built?” Daniel 4:30

God humbled him dramatically until he acknowledged heaven’s authority.

“Those who walk in pride He is able to humble.” — Daniel 4:37


5. Manasseh — Wicked King Finally Repents

Manasseh ruled with extreme evil for decades.

“He did much evil in the sight of the Lord.” — Second Book of Kings 21:6

But after captivity and humiliation:

“He humbled himself greatly before the God of his fathers.” — 2 Chronicles 33:12

God restored him, demonstrating astonishing mercy.


6. Apostle Paul — Enemy of Christ Stopped by Christ

Paul violently persecuted Christians for years.

“Saul was ravaging the church.” — Acts 8:3

But Christ confronted him personally.

“Saul, Saul, why are you persecuting Me?” — Acts 9:4

His life turned from destroyer to missionary.


7. Jonah — A Hardened Prophet Humbled

Jonah resisted God’s command and ran away.

“Jonah rose to flee… from the presence of the Lord.” Book of Jonah 1:3

God disciplined him through the storm and the great fish until he repented and obeyed.


8. Jacob — A Lifetime Schemer Wrestled into Surrender

Jacob manipulated people for many years.

But God confronted him personally.

“Your name shall no longer be Jacob, but Israel.”Genesis 32:28

The encounter left him limping—a reminder that broken pride often marks the beginning of real faith.


Encouraging Pattern?

Notice the same truth appears repeatedly:

God allows pride to run its course until reality breaks it.

“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”Proverbs 16:18

But after the fall comes hope.

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and He will lift you up.”Epistle of James 4:10


Need Something Encouraging?

C. S. Lewis wrote:

“No man knows how bad he is until he has tried very hard to be good.”

God often uses failure and hardship to awaken the soul.


Hymn Lyrics of Hope

From Amazing Grace

“I once was lost, but now am found,
Was blind, but now I see.”


A Final Encouraging Promise

“I will give you a new heart and a new spirit.” Book of Ezekiel 36:26

Even the most stubborn heart can still be reached by God.

 Parents dealing with a proud and rebellious son or daughter can do what?

Sometimes, wise tough love is fitting and appropriate. 

1. Wisely Love Deeply, Even When the Relationship Is Broken

The father in Jesus’ parable never stopped loving his son.

“While he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion.”Gospel of Luke 15:20

In the story called The Prodigal Son (there were 2 prodigals), the father’s love remained steady and consistent even when the son was WAY reckless, selfish, disrespectful, and rebellious.

Love can remain there even when closeness WILL NOT. My parents, Kim and Betty, always told me: With people, love with an open hand. If a bird is in your hand and you clinch down on it, it will always struggle.. wanting to get away. (Not saying the father in the Bible did that at all)


2. Respect the Reality of Free Will. Sure! 

God Himself allows people to choose their own path.

The gracious father in the parable allowed his spoiled son to simply leave with money that wasn't owed to him.. with his inheritance. The son acted like it was his property. 

God does not coerce repentance, and neither can parents.

“Choose this day whom you will serve.” Joshua 24:15


3. Do Not Chase Someone Determined to Run

In the parable, the father did not chase the son into the far country.

The son had to reach the moment when:

“He came to himself.” Gospel of Luke 15:17

Sometimes distance allows God to work where persuasion cannot.


4. Let Consequences Become the Teacher

Hard hearts often learn only through consequences.

When the prodigal lost everything, the famine exposed his emptiness.

“Whatever one sows, that will he also reap.”Galatians 6:7

Even God often lets life’s realities become a classroom.


5. Refuse to Participate in Sin or Enable Destructive Behavior

The Bible never instructs parents to support rebellion.

“Have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness.” Ephesians 5:11

Loving someone does not require endorsing their choices.


6. Guard Your Own Heart from Bitterness

Even righteous sorrow can slowly turn into resentment.

“See to it that no root of bitterness springs up.” Hebrews 12:15

Parents must protect their own spiritual health while waiting.


7. Pray and Trust God to Work Where You Cannot

Only God can change a stubborn heart.

The conversion of Apostle Paul shows this vividly. No human argument stopped him—Christ intervened personally.

“The Lord opened her heart.” Acts of the Apostles 16:14

The deepest work of repentance belongs to God.


8. Keep the Door Open for Repentance

Though the father did not chase the prodigal, he remained ready to welcome him.

“Bring the best robe… let us celebrate.” Gospel of Luke 15:22–23

Grace waits patiently for genuine repentance.


9. Understand That Even God Experiences Rejection

The pain of rejection is not unique to parents.

God said of rebellious Israel:

“I have stretched out My hands all day long to a rebellious people.”Book of Isaiah 65:2

Even the perfect Father has children who refuse Him.


10. Anchor Your Identity in God, Not in the Child’s Choices

A parent’s worth is not determined by a child’s decisions.

“Each of us will give an account of himself to God.”Epistle to the Romans 14:12

Every soul ultimately answers for its own response to truth.


Two Fathers in Scripture Who Really Felt The Pain

King David
His spoiled son Absalom rebelled violently against him. Would have killed his dad too. 

The father in the parable of the The Prodigal Son (No names were mentioned, so was it a real human story? That parable with Lazarus listed names)

David endured humiliation, heartbreak, and long real waiting.

Both stories show ust the emotional cost of a child’s pride.


A Wise Quote About Waiting

Augustine of Hippo once wrote about his mother praying for him for years:

“The child of those tears shall never perish.”

His mother prayed for decades before Augustine turned to Christ.


Encouraging Promise To Pray About

God can still break the hardest heart.

“I will remove the heart of stone.. and give you a heart of flesh.”Ezekiel 36:26

Sometimes that miracle might take years.

God has repeatedly turned rebels into redeemed people. He knew who He would save.