IT'S NOT A LOANER TO LOVE, LOAD UP, OR LIKE. YES, DON'T BORROW IT EVEN.. SOMEONE ELSE'S OFFENSE
Some people don't want resolution.THEY WANT RECRUITS. These type of recruits are divisive people.
THAT'S SPREADING BITTERNESS.
PLEASE, REFUSE TO INHERIT A 2ND-HAND OFFENSE. I MEAN ONE THAT ISN'T YOURS.
What does God in the Bible have to say to Christians on how they should not take up an offense for another person? I mean from an angry, hurt, bitter, wounded, slighted and or offended."Whoever meddles in a quarrel not his own is like one who takes a passing dog by the ears." — Proverbs 26:17 esv"Interfering in someone else’s argument is as foolish as yanking a dog’s ears." — Proverbs 26:17 nlt
- It isn't your job to fix everything: Matthew 18:15 specifically commands that if someone is sinned against, the process of reconciliation is strictly "between you and him alone." Stepping in as an uninvited third party often breaks this biblical protocol and feeds a culture of gossip.
- Avoid spreading the fire: Proverbs 26:20 continues the context of the main verse by stating, "For lack of wood the fire goes out, and where there is no whisperer, quarreling ceases." Often, listening to an offended person vent and adopting their anger acts as "wood" that keeps a destructive fire burning.
- The mark of wisdom is bypassing offense: Proverbs 19:11 states, "Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense." If it is honorable to overlook offenses committed against ourselves, it is doubly wise to refuse to pick up offenses committed against others.
"Moses spent forty years thinking he was somebody; forty years learning he was nobody; and forty years discovering what God can do with a nobody." ~ D.L. Moody
Moody breaks the 120-year life of Moses into three distinct 40-year phases:
- First 40 Years (In Egypt): Moses lived there in Pharaoh's Egyptian palace and basically thought he was somebody, got presumptious at times, relying on his own power, solutions, status, and education.
- Second 40 Years (In the Desert-Wilderness): Moses fled away from Egypt to Midian and spent decades as a humble shepherd, learning that he was a nobody in his own strength.
- Final 40 Years (The Exodus Experience): Moses led the Israelites out, discovering what God could achieve through a fully surrendered and humble life of faith. Egypt in the Bible is a type of the corrupt World System. Please love not the world, nor the things in it.
"Wherefore come out from among them, and be ye separate, saith the Lord, and touch not the unclean thing; and I will receive you." 2 Corinthians 6:17
- The Biblical Reality: Acts 7:22 states that Moses was "learned in all the wisdom of the Egyptians, and was mighty in words and deeds."
- Wiersbe's Insight: Wiersbe notes that Moses had the ultimate royal pedigree, military knowledge, and political clout. However, Moses made the mistake of trying to do God's work using worldly power. When Moses killed the Egyptian taskmaster (Acts 7:23), he mistakenly thought his fellow Israelites would understand that God was using him to deliver them. Instead, they rejected him. Wiersbe emphasizes that God cannot use human energy and fleshly pride to accomplish divine liberation.
- The Biblical Reality: Moses fled to the desert of Midian and spent 40 years as an ordinary shepherd. To the Egyptians, shepherds were an "abomination" (Genesis 46:34)—Moses literally took the lowest social status possible.
- I call this phase the "God's Backside of the Desert Wilderness School." God took a proud prince and spent four decades quieted by the desert heat to break his self-sufficiency. By the time God appeared in the burning bush at Mount Sinai, Moses’ confidence was completely gone.
- The "I AM" Correction: Notice the profound irony here in Exodus 3:11 when Moses argues with God, asking, "Who am I that I should go to Pharaoh?" Remember when Wiersbe wrote: “Moses completely missed the message of God's name and God's miraculous power. 'I AM' is all that we need in every circumstance of life, and it's foolish for us to argue, 'I am not.'” Moses had to learn that his own insignificance ("I am not") didn't matter because God is the all-sufficient "I AM."
- The Biblical Reality: Moses led Israel out of Egypt, managed millions of complaining people in the desert, and stood as the mediator of the Old Covenant.
- Wiersbe's Insight: It's true that the final 40 years of Mo were about "God Training Him for Reigning Among His Beloved Jewish People." Once Moses stopped trying to be a "somebody" in his own strength, God could mightily use him as a powerful, meek, submissive tool. His weakness became meekness from God's tutelage and the perfect stage for God's power.
PLEASE.. PLEASE.. PLEASE DON’T BORROW SOMEONE ELSE’S OFFENSE
Be careful whose anger you allow to become your own.
Sometimes another person is genuinely wounded. Sometimes they have been treated unjustly. Their pain may deserve compassion, prayer, and even appropriate action. But their wound does not automatically become your wound, their enemy does not automatically become your enemy, and their offense does not automatically become yours.
You can care about someone without carrying their bitterness.
You can listen without joining the grievance.
You can pray for them without becoming angry at everyone they are angry with.
And you can love a hurting person without becoming a recruit in their resentment.
Some people are looking for resolution. Others are looking for recruits. They don't necessarily want healing; they want company in their hostility. They want you offended because they are offended, suspicious because they are suspicious, and angry because they are angry.
Be careful.
Bitterness is contagious when we willingly pass it from heart to heart.
Hebrews warns us:
“Looking diligently lest any man fail of the grace of God; lest any root of bitterness springing up trouble you, and thereby many be defiled.”
Hebrews 12:15, KJV
Notice the biblical picture: a root can become a harvest, and what begins in one heart can eventually defile many.
So don't inherit an offense that God never gave you.
Before you take sides, ask: What actually happened? What do I personally know? Have I heard both sides? Am I responding to truth, or merely reacting to somebody else's pain?
That is not coldness. That is discernment.
Proverbs says:
“The discretion of a man deferreth his anger; and it is his glory to pass over a transgression.”
Proverbs 19:11, KJV
Biblical discretion knows that not every offense deserves a confrontation. Some things should be lovingly overlooked. Other matters genuinely require truthful conversation, correction, accountability, or even protection from wrongdoing.
Overlooking an offense is not the same as approving sin. Forgiving someone is not the same as calling evil good. Grace does not cancel truth.
Jesus Himself gave His followers a pathway for dealing with genuine personal sin:
“Moreover if thy brother shall trespass against thee, go and tell him his fault between thee and him alone.”
Matthew 18:15, KJV
Notice the wisdom of Jesus: go to the person, not around the person.
Don't build a courtroom in the minds of other people before you have had a conversation with the person involved.
Don't turn private pain into public gossip.
Don't gather an audience when Jesus told you to seek the person.
And don't let somebody else's unresolved conflict become your personal crusade.
Paul gives us another governing principle:
“Let all bitterness, and wrath, and anger, and clamour, and evil speaking, be put away from you, with all malice: And be ye kind one to another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God for Christ's sake hath forgiven you.”
Ephesians 4:31–32, KJV
That is radically different from the culture of outrage.
The world often says, “If they're angry, you should be angry too.”
Christ teaches us something better: “Be angry, and sin not” (Ephesians 4:26).
You don't have to match someone else's emotional temperature.
You don't have to hate everybody somebody else hates.
You don't have to carry every grievance somebody hands you.
You don't have to become offended simply because someone else is offended.
WALK WISELY
Choose your closest companions carefully.
Scripture says:
“Make no friendship with an angry man; and with a furious man thou shalt not go: Lest thou learn his ways, and get a snare to thy soul.”
Proverbs 22:24–25, KJV
That is remarkably practical.
You can love an angry person without learning their anger.
You can minister to a bitter person without becoming bitter.
You can hear somebody's story without adopting their hostility.
You can acknowledge somebody's pain without endorsing every conclusion they have drawn from it.
And sometimes the wisest sentence you can say is simply:
“I am sorry you were hurt. I will pray for you. But I don't want to become bitter toward someone because of what happened between you and them.”
That is not cowardice.
That is spiritual maturity.
BUT WHAT ABOUT JESUS, THE “ROCK OF OFFENSE”?
Peter describes Christ as:
“A stone of stumbling, and a rock of offence.”
1 Peter 2:8, KJV
Jesus is indeed an offense to unbelief because He refuses to allow sinners to redefine truth on their own terms. The gospel confronts human pride, exposes sin, and calls every person to repentance and faith in Christ.
But there is an enormous difference between being offended by Christ because He speaks truth and being offended because our pride, preferences, or personal grievances have been wounded.
One is the offense of the cross.
The other can be the offense of the flesh.
We must learn the difference.
DON'T LET BITTERNESS BECOME YOUR IDENTITY
Some people have lived with an offense so long that they no longer know who they are without it.
Their conversations continually return to who hurt them, who disappointed them, who betrayed them, who mistreated them, who failed them.
But Christ did not save us so that our identity would forever orbit around the people who wounded us.
Our identity is found in Christ.
Paul could say:
“For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.”
Philippians 1:21, KJV
The gospel moves our eyes from the wound to the Redeemer.
Forgiveness does not necessarily erase the memory.
It does, however, refuse to let the memory become our master.
And forgiveness does not mean pretending nothing happened. It means surrendering our right to personal vengeance to the God who judges righteously.
Paul writes:
“Dearly beloved, avenge not yourselves, but rather give place unto wrath: for it is written, Vengeance is mine; I will repay, saith the Lord.”
Romans 12:19, KJV
SO LET IT GO WHEN GOD SAYS LET IT GO
Not every irritation deserves an investigation.
Not every slight deserves a speech.
Not every disagreement deserves a relationship-ending explosion.
Not every criticism deserves retaliation.
Sometimes wisdom says, “Let it go.”
Sometimes love says, “Cover it.”
Sometimes truth says, “Confront it.”
Sometimes justice says, “Report it” and...
Sometimes the Holy Spirit says, “Be quiet, pray, forgive, and walk forward.”
The question is not merely, “Was I offended?”
The better question is:
“What would honor Christ now?”
That question changes everything.
Before repeating the story, ask whether repeating it will heal or harm.
Before taking sides, seek truth.
Before judging motives, examine facts.
Before responding emotionally, pray.
Before confronting someone, search your own heart.
Before carrying resentment, remember how much Christ has forgiven you.
Peter reminds believers:
“And above all things have fervent charity among yourselves: for charity shall cover the multitude of sins.”
1 Peter 4:8, KJV
Love does not cover sin by pretending sin doesn't matter. Love refuses to turn every human failure into ammunition.
So don't borrow someone else's offense.
Care, but don't carry bitterness.
Listen, but discern.
Pray, but don't recruit yourself into resentment.
Forgive, but don't call evil good.
Confront when Scripture requires it, overlook when wisdom permits it, and leave vengeance in God's hands.
And above all, make Jesus your closest Friend, your Lord, and your ultimate example.
When Christ is the One who has your heart, you don't have to let somebody else's anger tell you whom to hate.
Don't become a carrier of somebody else's bitterness. Become a carrier of Christ's grace.
Walk away from borrowed offense with a clean heart, a clear conscience, biblical wisdom, and your eyes fixed on Jesus.
“Looking unto Jesus the author and finisher of our faith.”
Hebrews 12:2, KJV
