Was asked to address this topic, and man, I have a lot to learn still!
Didn't really feel like it, but the verses do edify. Need some godly wisdom for parenting.. or for being a grandparent? Ask and inquire of the Lord for this.
Solomon did that and received. God is so generous huh! What did King Solomon (second to Jesus the wisest man who ever lived here) say? He said, “Children are a gift from the Lord; they are a reward from him” (Psalm 127:3 nlt). Our limited time with the children here -- that is such a gift to us from God. Liney and I really enjoyed this period.
Children are not.. never were or are.. ours to possess; they really belong to the Lord. We put our kids in His hands and then did what we could. Doing our best we commit the rest.
And we seek to do everything we can to tactfully, to wisely and gently, yes...and to boldly point them back to Him. They are His. That's what straightforward responsible parents see and do. Children are not really ours to mold, but to hold (for a time) and to let em unfold. Why? So that they each can lean towards the light they see and discover the unique individual that God created them to be. God is light with zero darkness in Him.
Let's biblically (very wisely) walk in the light of the Lord. Think about in how many arenas ..like in a family, in a small group, on a jobsite, in a church, or at a school.. where things have been done in the name of the Holy Spirit led me when it just wasn't right or of the light at all. How many of us Christians (oftentimes with the best of intentions) have been guilty of presumptuously misrepresenting Him or missing His lead?
"Always keep on praying. No matter what happens, always be thankful, for this is God’s will for you who belong to Christ Jesus. Do not smother (grieve, quench [in Grk: sbennymi]) the Holy Spirit." 1 Thessalonians 5:17-19 tlb
"Don’t suppress the Spirit, and don’t stifle.." msg (See context).
He's all about righteous light, love and truth - so what does it mean to grieve and quench the Holy Spirit?
We are not to teach our children to become dependent on us or on the Government.. for the rest of their lives, but to live independent–and more importantly–to live completely dependent upon God through Christ.
Too many children are left to raise themselves, It's been a long time like this, and then many grow up and ditch the people who love them. So many parents aren’t raising their kids; our culture is raising our kids today. The media is raising our kids. I heard (and am not sure if it's true..) that the ADD and ADHD comes from parents letting the TV long babysit their kids with all the fast images before they reach the age of around five years old.
Movies, and Hollywood stars are giving our children their values and morals. Bands with their often cool sounding music are giving them their belief system—or their peers or teachers at school. Then many of them go off to universities and get molded by the liberal Socialist world system some more.
This ought not to be. Parents, please don't let the culture raise your kids.
What's the parent’s task? Livin' the life before them, teaching them what's so in love. It's also not the job of any Sunday school teacher to raise your children in God’s ways, parents.
They are they simply to reinforce what you’re already teaching and doing in the home. They are there to support you in what the Word is leading you to do as Christian parent. Are you a born again spiritually mature Christian parent today? You can be. You're going to need all the sound help you can get, parent.
Do your children attend a Christian school or are they homeschooled? (Man, I never had to give our three kids this type of education but I totally respect the many parents who are doing this today).
Church and children's church are not there to relieve you of your God given responsibility as parents.. to bring your children up in the nurture, admonition and way of the Lord.
"Children, obey your parents in the Lord, for this is right. Honor your father and mother" (this is the first commandment with a promise), that it may go well with you and that you may live long in the land. Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord." Eph. 6:1-4 esv
God will hold each of us parents accountable one day. Always wanted to be ready for that. He can empower you to live the life as a decent example before your family, believer. What are you doing with this important responsibility, dads? It isn’t optional. It is hard to believe sometimes, but even the dearest li'l child has a sinful inclination inside. The world, the society, and the devil don't make people sin -- we could do that without these around because we are sinners. The Bible says that we are born with a natural inclination to do wrong. Mr. Lu-Cifer (Satan) is the prince of the power of the air and His creepy world system of corruption just bombards us here with temptations to sin. Let's love God and people, and not love the world system!
What does Ephesians 2:2 mean in terms of how much power Satan possesses? What does the Bible say about angels? What does the Bible say about demons? Who is Satan?
Unpack that, break that down for us--the meaning of Ephesians 1:4?
David wrote, “For I was born a sinner—yes, from the moment my mother conceived me” (Psalm 51:5 nlt). Sin is not a learned behavior; it is an inbred disposition. You and I were born in sin. Children get it from their sinner parents to be frank, who got from their sinner parents, who got it from their sinner parents—all the way back to Adam and Eve who sinned in a perfect environment cuz they gave in to temptation.
Factoid: We are not sinners because we sin; we sin because we are sinners. And it happens to our children too. Choices matter.
Did I say to my three sons or grandkids: "Hey Buckeroos, gather around and let’s start with sin and selfishness today. So say after me: 'MINE! NO, M I N E!!!'”
I never said that to them and my dad, Kim, never said that to me, or to my two brothers and sister.
It came out so naturally for each of them. MINE! Gimme, it's MINE!!!
My sons already knew that word. We each be sinners, but we can become forgiven saved sinners. Not better than, but indeed better off.
It's great to teach our children good manners, respect of others, and to become hard smart workers, but first and foremost we are to point them to the Jesus Christ of the Bible. It ain't wrong to pray with them over their needs and wants, and simply get them into the Bible when they're young. My boys would say yes to times of family devotions and they all gladly had something to say. Many good things to say and pray!
I know that our tendency as parents is to protect our children and isolate them from this mean ole world. And of course, we want to protect them from all the impure rainbow stuff being shoved on them. I still want to be a godly positive influence in their lives as well as their kid's lives. But we also must prepare them to live in the real world and take a stand for what is right. Who wants to see their kids or their kids getting ripped off?
Worldly influences will do their best to find their way into areas of their education and lives no matter what state they live in (Satan and his thugs will try to make sure of this). Your kids are going to talk to other kids and be shown their cell phones. They will be exposed to all kinds of things in public. We can’t keep the kids away from these things 24/7/365 -- I'm not omnipresent like God is, seeing everything.
Rather than seeking to isolate your children from all these bad influences, try to positively prepare them for how to deal with what they will face. Teach them how to sprint away from some things and from temptations. That's exactly where your godly influence needs to comes in as you point them to Christ, and call out to God, and keep pointing them in the right direction.
Have you felt like a failure as a parent because you have one or more prodigal sons or daughters guess what.. God the Father has some of these as well. Think of all they heartache and pain he's felt through the years. He can comfort and encourage you. Keep on praying, it ain't over until it is over! There is an easy way to learn by readying the Word, and there is still a hard way to learn as well. I remember choosing the hard way to learn when I was younger. They are simply exercising something called free will. So earnestly pray for them and keep the lines of honest communication open in order to show them love. Sure, even when you don't feel like. Have they basically been spitting on you and all your relatives. Sinners like you and me did that to our heavenly Father. He showed us love when we were still His enemies. He is the Initiator and I am the responder. I love him today because He first loved me.
What did Moses say about raising children? This! “Repeat [God’s commands] again and again to your children. Talk about them when you are at home and when you are on the road, when you are going to bed and when you are getting up” (Deut. 6:7 nlt).
Is that talking about quantity time, not quality time? When you are around your children, take every opportunity possible to instruct them in the word and ways of the Lord.
How can you help them, what's a good first step? Have a relationship with God through Christ. Have an assurance inside that you are right with your Father. You cannot lead a child any further than you have come, especially spiritually.
Walk with God regardless of what they do. The apostle Paul wrote, “Keep putting into practice all you learned and received from me – everything you heard from me and saw me doing. Then the God of peace will be with you” (Phil 4:9 nlt).
It is hard to train children in a way that parents don’t go themselves.
“The secret of home rule is self-rule, first being ourselves what we want our children to be.” ~ Andrew Murray
We need to prepare our children asap and be patient, because we never know how long they will be on load with us. We have no idea when they could go, or when we could go, or what course life may take. We want to do everything that we can to point our kids to Jesus and a healthy church the teaches His Word while we can.
“Children are not casual guests in our home. They have been loaned to us temporarily for the purpose of loving them and instilling a foundation of good values on which their future lives will be built.” ~ James Dobson
In many realms of our lives, we need to wisely balance courtesy and control, love and discipline, grace and truth. Never one lie, never mean spirited. Sure, didn't Christ our flawless example live like this? The heavenly Father does this too. Totally fair and just but loving. God is love, God is light with no darkness in Him.
As a husband and dad, this has always been my aim at work and at home.
"And the Word (the living Christ) became flesh, and lived among us; and we [actually] saw His glory, glory as belongs to the [One and] only begotten Son of the Father, [the Son who is truly unique, the only One of His kind, who is] full of grace and truth (absolutely free of deception)." John 1:14 amp
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| Photo by James X (didn't say his last name). |
"Love" for your spouse or kids is spelled TIME. Time to listen, time for full attention, time for family devotions where all can be honest and not be looked down upon. “A boy or girl who knows that love abounds at home will not resent their well-deserved punishment. One who is unloved or ignored will hate any form of discipline.” ~ James Dobson
What to bless your kids, men? Love your wife, their mom. A marriage succeeds only as a lifetime commitment that’s not based on fickle feelings that come and go.. with no escape clauses.
If the home is going to survive, the home will do so by properly prioritizing. Yes, it can actually happen as husbands and fathers again place their Lord first as the main focus of loving worship, and then on the horizontal plane place their wives and then their families at the highest level on their system of priorities.
When you blow it and mess up, just admit it and quit it. Repent, ask God for forgiveness (ask the people you hurt for that as well), get back up and press on. Run your race to win.
Does the Bible say anything about grandparents?
“By learning to yield to the loving authority.. of his parents, a child learns to submit to other forms of authority which will confront him later in his life like his teachers, school principal, police, neighbors and employers.” ~ James Dobson
One of the first things you and your fiancé need to develop is a meaningful humble prayer life. Yes, before the wedding and before the sex-life starts (no need to test-drive em, Barney) and before starting your family life together. It doesn't matter the physical posture of prayer really as long and you're being sincere, respectful and candid in Jesus' Name. My wife, Liney, and I did that and we still enjoy praying alone and together regularly. The time we have spent on our knees has been the stabilizing factor throughout nearly forty years of marriage--it's the Lord who helps us, not some verbal formula. I say read the word together and pray biblical prayers reminding God of His promises and His own words. Get in this habit because your kids and grandkids will benefit and thank Him latter on.
Never let the culture squeeze you into it's weird mold. That's not healthy. Never let "too busy" for God, or too busy for a healthy church with sound worship, Bible teaching and fellowship, or too busy for each other become your habit of life. Why crash and burn? Never let striving in the flesh or the foolish kind of debt and financial strain become what you daily have to deal with. It's no day for idols, Sport. It is the day to turn and trust.. to run to Jesus and ditch all of them.
"And do not be conformed to this world any longer with its superficial values and customs, but be transformed and progressively changed as you mature spiritually by the renewing of your mind focusing on godly values and ethical attitudes, so that you may prove for yourselves what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect in His plan and purpose for you." Romans 12:2 amp
“What is the biggest obstacle facing the family right now? It is over-commitment; time pressure. There is nothing that will destroy family life more insidiously than hectic schedules and busy lives, where spouses are too exhausted to communicate, too worn out to have sex, too fatigued to talk to the kids. That frantic lifestyle is just as destructive as one involving outbroken sin. If Satan can't make you sin, he'll make you busy, and that's just about the same thing.” ~ James Dobson
Personally, I'm not raising my grandkids or kids today. Glad about that. I want to wisely spoil my grandkids -- I feel it's my duty to.. as long as I'm not really spoiling them character-wise. I want to give them fun things they'll like even with some foods (that are allowed) and then hand them back to their diligent parents. That's the beautiiiiness of being a grandparent!
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| Photo by Priscilla Du Preez |
Today, my job is done in many ways here, but I can pray and be there for my sons and grandkids if they ask for some help or say some advice. They can find great advice in a lot of places and churches really. Unlike many parents that we feel for.. somehow Liney and I succeeded in raising hardworking sons to live independently (glory to God..). So we are careful not to interject our parenting opinions when not invited to do that (not as easy as rollin' off a long). Have I ever done that before? I have at times with the Scriptures, but now I let others do that instead because I think my child-rearing days are behind me (except that we have ministered some in children's church lately).
I'm not daily raising my grandkids. Have never had to do that, so I really doubt I'll discipline or spank any grandchild. Why should I, they have their parents to find their right way in this area?
There are some smart compromises in marriage relationships, but spiritual compromise is never smart for any couple or family.
“It is very important to understand that pluralism is part of our system. We don't all think the same thing and part of our strength is that we come from different perspectives. We have to respect one another even when we disagree with each other. There has to be a spirit of tolerance for the views of others, while also being deeply committed to the (essential) positions we hold. If we do that, I think we can coexist and learn to love each other better.” ~ James Dobson
The Christian parents real early need to be on the same page and they need to win when there is push back and negotiations from the kids. Just make sure that what you unify over and win on is worthy of winning on. Respect is intended to operate on a two-way street. Show your spouse honor and respect at all times--back them up. Kids like to play one parent off of another. Please show them how unified you'll remain and teach your children to show respect.
“Loving discipline encourages a child to respect other people and live as a responsible, constructive citizen.” ~ James Dobson
It's no day for allowing the drag-queen shows, or drag reading hours, or all the grooming in our kid's schools. Something must be said and done to protect the minds of your family members.
“It is my view that our society can be no more stable than the foundation of individual family units upon which it rests. Our government, our institutions, our schools.. indeed, our way of life are dependent on healthy marriages and loyalty to the vulnerable little children around our feet.” ~ James Dobson
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| Photo by Kelli McClintock |
When your children grow and walk in wisdom, parents, then guess what.. they bring JOY to your hearts (See Proverbs 10:1; 15:20; 17:21, 25; 19:26; 23:24–25). It is so very tragic when children fail to show respect towards their parents (23:22; 30:17), or when they speak evil of their parents (20:20).
Need some parenting memory verses from Proverbs?
"Listen to your father, who sired you, and do not despise your mother when she is old. 23 Buy truth, and do not sell it; get wisdom and instruction and understanding. 24 The father of the righteous will greatly rejoice, and he who sires a wise child will have joy in him. 25 Let your father and your mother be glad, and let her who gave birth to you rejoice [in your wise and godly choices]." Proverbs 23:22-25 amp
“11 There is a generation (class of people) that curses its father and does not bless its mother. 12 There is a generation (class of people) that is pure in its own eyes, yet is not washed from its filthiness. 13 There is a generation (class of people)—oh, how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are raised in arrogance. 14 There is a generation (class of people) whose teeth are like swords and whose jaw teeth are like knives, to devour the afflicted from the earth and the needy from among men. 15 The leech has two daughters, “Give, give!” There are three things that are never satisfied, four that do not say, “It is enough”: 16 Sheol, and the barren womb, earth that is never satisfied with water, and fire that never says, “It is enough.” 17 The eye that mocks a father and scorns a mother, the ravens of the valley will pick it out, and the young vultures will devour it.” Proverbs 30:11–17 (sometimes I like to leave the vs number in)
"A wise son heeds and accepts [and is the result of] his father’s discipline and instruction, But a scoffer does not listen to reprimand and does not learn from his errors." Proverbs 13:1 amp
"He who withholds the rod [of discipline] hates his son, but he who loves him disciplines and trains him diligently and appropriately [with wisdom and love]." Proverbs 13:24 amp
"A [flippant, arrogant] fool rejects his father’s instruction and correction, But he who [is willing to learn and] regards and keeps in mind a reprimand acquires good sense." Proverbs 15:5 amp
"Chasten your son while there is hope, and do not set your heart on his destruction." Proverbs 19:18 nkjv
"Discipline your children while you still have the chance; indulging them destroys them." Proverbs 19:18 msg
"Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it." Proverbs 22:6 nkjv
"Foolishness is bound up in the heart of a child; the rod of correction will drive it far from him." Proverbs 22:15 nkjv
"Do not withhold correction from a child, for if you beat him with a rod, he will not die. 14 You shall beat him with a rod, and deliver his soul from hell." Proverbs 23:13–14 nkjv
"Discipline your son and he will give you happiness and peace of mind." Proverbs 29:17 tlb
"Correct your son, and he will give you rest; yes, he will give delight to your soul." Proverbs 29:17 nkjv
“My son, hear the instruction of your father, And do not forsake the law of your mother; 9 For they will be a graceful ornament on your head, And chains about your neck." Proverbs 1:8–9 nkjv
"My son, do not forget my law, But let your heart keep my commands; 2 For length of days and long life And peace they will add to you." Proverbs 3:1–2 nkjv
"Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, And give attention to know understanding; 2 For I give you good doctrine: Do not forsake my law. 3 When I was my father’s son, Tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, 4 He also taught me, and said to me: 'Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commands, and live.'" Proverbs 4:1–4 nkjv
“My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart.” Proverbs 4:20-21
"My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, 2 that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge." Prov. 5:1–2 esv
"My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. 21 Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. 22 When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you." Prov. 6:20–22 esv
"My son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you; 2 keep my commandments and live; keep my teaching as the apple of your eye; 3 bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart." Prov. 7:1–3 esv
"A wise son hears his father's instruction, but a scoffer does not listen to rebuke." Prov. 13:1 esv (Read more.. blog)
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| "Love.. always protects" Shield them from all types of evil. |
