God speaking to us in the book of Proverbs has much to say about children and the home. I mean Parenting. He gives us more than ten qualities too, but I’ll start with these. Today’s a good day to listen to the best Father and take heed.
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| Photo by Juliane Liebermann |
Godly human parents are daily vigilant and they wisely protect. Sure, cuz God the Father is like that and there's a whole lot to protect us from.
They not only make sure their sons and daughters feel safe — they do their best to keep you safe in all areas. Yes, from all threats physical, emotional and doctrinal etc. They pray together, they include you in this, they love each other, they unify, they constantly listen to good counsel (like from the Word) and they know how to keep the bad guys away (those both seen and unseen).
1. Humble Dependability
Being there through thick and thin. It’s about being fully present, being right in your attitude and right in spirit too due to an imputed righteousness and vertical-connection with accurate Bible beliefs. It’s about being consistently available for your wife and kids through both good times and the bad. I mean through trials, testings, temptations, and the typical tribulations of this world. You’re in it but not of it.
2. Proactive Involvement
Being personally yet gently engaged in our son’s and daughter’s lives (this can mean with spiritual sons and daughters too), in their interests, in their deep hopes and prayerfully in their dreams on a daily basis. Thoroughly bathe them all in believing prayer. It’s about being curious in a good way and attentive. This requires us to focus mainly on our relationship with Jesus Christ while putting our distractions to one side. Today is not the day to get all distracted away. Tomorrow isn’t either.
3. Christlike Compassion
Showing the compassion of Jesus is always helpful! We must keep a balanced positive perspective of hope and belief when our child gets down and needs this most. Compassion comes from the Compassionate One. Do you put yourself in their shoes at times?
4. Dad’s Valuing Their Wives, Their Kid’s Mother
Showing respect and love of your wife is so important. We put God first and then our spouse second in priority and then our kids third. We aren’t of course the same person. We don’t have to be, but we prioritize and get on the same page with our spouse early (making sure it’s a biblical stance). Kids tend to play one parent off of another, but we always back each other up — we must with Christ as Lord win. You, have chosen to love your spouse, yes your kids’ mother, with God’s love and together this love flows down to them and out the door to others. Christ is to be central in your home. It’s a sound ministry base and outlet for the whole community and we must see it this way, believer. Valuing is similar to validating our mate for who they are with all their flaws and imperfections. Showing love and respect requires good uplifting actions and words, not just thoughts. Do unto others what you’d have them do unto you. This teaches our sons and daughters how to be treated, and how to treat others.
5. Heartfelt Empathy
Listening empathically not to verbally respond, but in order to fully understand and be understanding. It’s about being present as God’s rep and engaged in spiritual and practical ways. It’s about putting ourselves into their shoes. They need to be and to feel heard, respected and valued. Even if we don’t completely get what we hear from them, or even like it. Are we really growing? We believers here should wear a sign around our necks that reads: Under construction. God ain’t done with me yet. He’s helping me to fully get it.
6. Being Verbally Expressive In A Good Way
To clearly communicate the truth and what you feel, to uphold biblical guidelines, being tough yet fair, without belittling, or manipulating, or being condescending and controlling. Lots of us fathers fail to properly express ourselves verbally in the home. I mean in our family time together. It’s like we feel that all others can read our minds and know our noble aims and motives, but listen up. We each can lean on the Lord and learn to. Our Father has filled a Book with His personal and helpful expressions. In fact His Son Jesus came here to clearly get His message across.
7. Human Transparency With Accountability
To own one’s mistakes, to be open to candid feedback, and to teach that real spiritual growth is a lifelong endeavor and is absolutely impossible to enjoy independent from the Living Word of God! It’s hard to grasp, but us mom’s and dad’s simply get it wrong, sometimes! When we mess up, when we blow it and sin.. we each need to be very quick to admit it and quit it (I mean confess our sins to God in repentance and then to the one we offended and CHANGE). Teaching our kids to be human means we take responsibility and make restitution. It’s okay to be flawed (Romans 8:28 is still in the Book). Why not we show our own humanity and huge need for Christ as often as possible?
8. Grace Filled Honesty
Live and teach and live again.. and again by the biblical values of honesty and integrity. Be willing to die to your own way. Are you willing to become a success for Jesus? Are you willing to become fired (or martyred) and viewed as a failure for Jesus? Let’s make sure it’s for Jesus’s sake if you get fired rather than fired for merely being stupid. What kind of witness would that be?
9. Playfulness In A Wholesome Sorta Way With Some Verses
“The LORD your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with his love, He will rejoice over you with singing. The sorrows for the appointed feasts I will remove from you; they are a burden and a reproach to you.” Zephaniah 3:17–18
“..your God has arrived to live among you. He is a mighty Savior.” tlb
“He will take delight in you with gladness. With his love, he will calm all your fears. He will rejoice over you with joyful songs.” nlt
“Your God is present among you, a strong Warrior there to save you. Happy to have you back, he’ll calm you with his love and delight you with his songs.” msg
Have you streamed or binged on “The Chosen” series yet? I love the part with all the kids in there. There’s a time for showing great delight in each of our children through kind humor, instructive banter, through fun and simple play. It helps. The benefits of father’s playing has actually been researched, particularly the pure type of rough and tumble type of play. Man, it teaches our kids to regulate their inner feelings and to accept limits and relational boundaries.
10. Being Industrious Together
Good stuff of growth can also happen while working together. Choose to model a healthy work ethic. Serve as unto Jesus for the glory of the Father. God and Jesus are working well to this day. Sure, do it as a source of personal accomplishment, productivity, fruitfulness and satisfaction. This isn’t necessarily associated only with work when away; it’s a valuable attitude toward tasks in general. Like in or around the home.
“Now because Jesus was doing these things on the Sabbath, the Jews began to persecute Him. But Jesus answered them, ‘To this very day My Father is at His work, and I too am working.’” John 5:16–17
Is Honor And Respect Shown In Your Home? To All? Consistently Let Kids See This — Win Them To Christ While You Can.
We want to win each child to faith in Jesus Christ while they are young if possible, and then rewin them (by the example of a selfless godly lifestyle), and then rewin them (by real love and grace), and then rewin them to Him (by hearing, by prayer, by gentle wooing and kind nurturing them). Yes, to Him instead of to us all the way home. In relationships sometimes we must win them over to us (talkin’ trust built) before we can win them over to Jesus (the most trustworthy Person of all). Read more, yep the full version of this.. here.
