What’s up with spiritual fathering or mothering for the ladies (if it's okay to use those terms)? Huh, fathering of sorts--isn’t that fairly cultic?
Doesn’t have to be. How real or helpful is that sort of thing? Can it wisely be lived out in a supernaturally-natural way? Can this ministry be soundly done without any manipulation and minus all weirdness, or spiritual abuse, or the unbiblical pressuring? Yes.
Q: Are you a single person that never got a chance to do some parenting, but really wanted to and still do? Perhaps you want to be like a big sis or big bro mentor for a younger person trying to find their way in this life?
Q: Are, or were you an adoptive or biological parent that raised some children and really enjoyed it, (or at a younger age never wanted to be surprised with your own children) and yet now.. you're an Christian empty nester and want to make your remaining years count in proper discipling? It takes discipline!
In Jesus Christ we are a family that's helpful. Christian, I challenge you to find a healthy local Christian church and small Bible study so you'll never feel lost in the crowd! Lots of what has happened in the name of spiritual fathering has sadly not been biblical down through church history, but this type of ministry can be. You know adoption is still of course an option for many people -- countless husbands and wives who really long to become parents have tried and tried with tears to have children but have never been able to. Are you called to come along side to help a young or even older believer (or several) grow up spiritually? Are you a father in law or mother in law and your spouse's kids are more than a challenge for you?
Q: Are you now a grandparent who perhaps doesn't get to see your grandkids, or kids very often because of the distance or due to other strange reasons, but you still want to make a difference in this world for the glory of God and for all eternity?
Q: Are you currently a mom or a dad but have a little bit of extra time to get involved (be used of the Holy Spirit) in soul-winning and biblically discipling other believers unto maturity for their benefit and God’s Kingdom?
What am I not talking about here? I ain't at all talking about going out to find a baby-daddy or some baby-mama to start (fornicating or committing adultery with in order to be or) doing some parenting. We’ve all seen way too much of that and to be quite frank this world would be much better off minus all the sex sins and other sins that so often follow afterwards. And one day this world will be minus all of the sinning. There’ll be a new heaven and a new earth.
Listen, in Christ today you can ask God, believe in His Word, and be used of Him to do some spiritual-fathering, or some spiritual-mothering of others even if you’re now a grandparent or single. I’m speaking of gracious, tactful, biblical discipling. Baby Christians and others need some of this. You can with some cooperation be used of God to win souls to Christ, and by stickin’ with the baby believers to help establish each of them in the faith as God sanctifies their life.
"Hear, my children, the instruction of a father, And give attention to know understanding; 2 For I give you good doctrine: Do not forsake my law. 3 When I was my father’s son, Tender and the only one in the sight of my mother, 4 He also taught me, and said to me: 'Let your heart retain my words; Keep my commands, and live.'" Proverbs 4:1–4 nkjv
“My son, be attentive to my words; incline your ear to my sayings. Let them not escape from your sight; keep them within your heart.” Proverbs 4:20-21
"My son, be attentive to my wisdom; incline your ear to my understanding, 2 that you may keep discretion, and your lips may guard knowledge." Prov. 5:1–2 esv
"My son, keep your father's commandment, and forsake not your mother's teaching. 21 Bind them on your heart always; tie them around your neck. 22 When you walk, they will lead you; when you lie down, they will watch over you; and when you awake, they will talk with you." Prov. 6:20–22 esv
"My son, keep my words and treasure up my commandments with you; 2 keep my commandments and live; keep my teaching as the apple of your eye; 3 bind them on your fingers; write them on the tablet of your heart." Prov. 7:1–3 esv
When our three boys were out of the home, my wife Liney went to volunteer in the lamb's pen so to speak (in "children's church" I called it the lion's den). She loves kids and ministering God's word on their level. Sure, no matter what you do for a career, every believer needs and outlet for ministry! Sure, we will either evangelize or fossilize. Why stagnate spiritually? You can be a tentmaker-minister if you will.
For about a decade I served in an overseer role with Global Media Outreach and every day received letters from around the world. It was wonderful and my specific team responded to all those who made a decision at a Harvest Crusade or a Harvest America event or over a gospel app. Gobs of fun and people are so hungry for the gospel still!
They wanted to hear viable answers regarding so many issues that the Bible addresses. Now more than ever young people who have been going away from sound churches need to be brought back to Christ and to a healthy. The spiritual elders set the tone in those churches marked by love and humility. We call help the lost and young saints along the way so that they can come to a saving faith and simply grow up in Christ.
You know how the Apostle Paul was a spiritual father. Not only to believers, but to churches. Yes, what he did was in connection with the local church for the glory of God. And God can use you beyond your wildest dreams as well.
The phrase spiritual father is not found in the Bible. There are passages that do imply a form of spiritual fatherhood between individuals and over churches. Peter called Mark “my son” (1 Peter 5:13). Paul refers to Timothy as “my true son in the faith,” thus indicating his close relationship to Timothy (1 Timothy 1:2). Elsewhere in Paul’s letters, he also refers to Onesimus as his son, indicating that he was a spiritual father to the former slave (Philemon 1:10).
The apostles also imply that they are “spiritual fathers” in relationship to various congregations. The apostle John referred to members of a church he was overseeing as his children (1 John 2:1, 12–13).
Paul’s relationship with the Corinthian church is likened to that of a father to his children (2 Corinthians 12:14–15). Elsewhere, Paul writes, “I am writing this not to shame you but to warn you as my dear children. Even if you had ten thousand guardians in Christ, you do not have many fathers, for in Christ Jesus I became your father through the gospel” (1 Corinthians 4:14–15).
It could be that these apostles had led their “spiritual children” to faith in Christ; even if they did not, the apostles loved, protected, and led those under their spiritual care as a father would his own children.
Although Paul calls Timothy his “son in the faith,” nowhere are any of the apostles addressed as “father” by other believers.
Father (abbreviated as Fr.) is a title used by Catholics to designate priests and even the Pope, whose title means “father.” Just as a father works at raising his children to maturity, so Catholic priests claim that their job as spiritual fathers is to raise their congregations to spiritual maturity. They liken their job as spiritual fathers to that of physical fathers, claiming they wash the children at birth with infant baptism, feed them with the Eucharist, and guide them by interpreting the Bible. Roman Catholics use verses such as 1 Corinthians 4:14–15 and 2 Corinthians 12:14–15 as support for their priests being called “fathers,” but nowhere in Scripture are overseers or pastors called spiritual fathers. Rather, they are called shepherds (John 21:15–17; 1 Peter 5:1–3). Just as Jesus is the Good Shepherd (John 10:11), so are pastors to be shepherds of the flock of believers that Christ entrusts to them (1 Peter 5:2).
The idea of a spiritual father is often used more generically of any Christian man who is discipling or mentoring a younger Christian in the faith. Jesus has commanded His followers to “make disciples,” which involves creating spiritual relationships that in some ways resemble father/son and mother/daughter relationships (Matthew 28:19). In Paul’s letter to Titus, he discusses how older women should teach younger Christian women in the faith (Titus 2:4).
As Timothy’s spiritual father, Paul taught doctrine and modeled Christian living to his young friend by taking him along on mission trips (2 Timothy 1:13; Acts 16:1–3; 2 Corinthians 1:19). After a while, Timothy took on a leadership role of his own, and he in turn discipled other believers in a “spiritual father”-type of relationship (1 Thessalonians 3:2; 1 Timothy 4:11–16).
In Matthew 23, Jesus forbids the use of the title “father” as a sign of superiority: “Do not call anyone on earth ‘father,’ for you have one Father, and he is in heaven” (v. 9). In that same context, Jesus also forbids the titles rabbi (“teacher”) and instructor (“master” or “leader”). We humans have a tendency to put other people and things in place of God. We humans just love Love LOVE titles and positions of importance over other people. Jesus (the greatest One of all) came here to serve people. He didn’t wear a name badge with an important title on it. He didn’t demand to be called by some title before his name. He was commenting against pride and pretense. Christ is merely forbidding the use of such names as spiritual titles, or in an ostentatious sense that accords undue spiritual authority to a human being, as if he were the source of truth rather than God.
1.) If you view yourself as a spiritual father please check your motives and make sure you're regenerated, humble and prayerfully growing rather than lost and merely religious. Tactfully, prayerfully witness by life, attitude and selfless deeds.. and when the time is right add words of truth to that. Yes, in order to be a good witness and then to win a person to Christ. No pressure at all. It takes time and ears. Be patient and serve where needed.
2.) Stick with them as a balanced Christian friend in order to help them grow up, to learn to apply truth, to mature and to learn what God has called them for. In the doing we can both learn (all the counsels of God in the Bible) so we can together wisely apply God’s word.
3.) Help other believers to become the person they always wanted to be. And to live the life they long for in fellowship both upwards and outwards with other growing believers inside and outside the church. The joy is infectious -- soon they'll want to go win some other people as well.. so that they too can stick with the baby Christians unto growth and spiritual maturity. Jesus alone saves but He doesn't do that alone. He call us all to be reproducing disciple makers by His Spirit.
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| Photo by Nathan Anderson |
What does “every spiritual blessing” mean in Ephesians 1:3?
What does it mean to be a spiritual man rather than a natural man or a carnal man?
What is the spiritual gift of teaching?
Does the Bible give any one individual spiritual authority over another individual?
What does it mean that those who are of faith are sons of Abraham (Galatians 3:7)?
Can you name some spiritual blessings?
What does the Bible say about Christian fathers?
What spiritually is the full armor of God?
========= Above Reference Verses In Order Here =========>
She who is at Babylon, who is likewise chosen, sends you greetings, and so does Mark, my son.
To Timothy, my true child in the faith: Grace, mercy, and peace from God the Father and Christ Jesus our Lord.
I appeal to you for my child, Onesimus, whose father I became in my imprisonment.
My little children, I am writing these things to you so that you may not sin. But if anyone does sin, we have an advocate with the Father, Jesus Christ the righteous.
I am writing to you, little children, because your sins are forgiven for his name’s sake. 13 I am writing to you, fathers, because you know him who is from the beginning. I am writing to you, young men, because you have overcome the evil one. I write to you, children..
Here for the third time I am ready to come to you. And I will not be a burden, for I seek not what is yours but you. For children are not obligated to save up for their parents, but parents for their children. 15 I will most gladly spend and be spent for your souls. If I love you more, am I to be loved less?
I do not write these things to make you ashamed, but to admonish you as my beloved children. 15 For though you have countless guides in Christ, you do not have many fathers. For I became your father in Christ Jesus through the gospel.
When they had finished breakfast, Jesus said to Simon Peter, “Simon, son of John, do you love me more than these?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Feed my lambs.” 16 He said to him a second time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” He said to him, “Yes, Lord; you know that I love you.” He said to him, “Tend my sheep.” 17 He said to him the third time, “Simon, son of John, do you love me?” Peter was grieved because he said to him the third time, “Do you love me?” and he said to him, “Lord, you know everything; you know that I love you.” Jesus said to him, “Feed my sheep. John 21:15–17
So I exhort the elders among you, mas a fellow elder and a witness of the sufferings of Christ, as well as a partaker in the glory that is going to be revealed: 2 shepherd the flock of God that is among you, exercising oversight,1 not under compulsion, but willingly, as God would have you; 2 not for shameful gain, but eagerly; 3 not domineering over those in your charge, but being examples to the flock. (1 Peter 5:1–3 addresses the proper shepherding of God's flock)
Go therefore and make disciples of all nations, baptizing them in the name of the Father and of the Son and of the Holy Spirit..
..and so train the young women to love their husbands and children,
Follow the pattern of the sound words that you have heard from me, in the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.
Acts 16:1–3 (Timothy Joins Paul and Silas) - “Paul came also to Derbe and to Lystra. A disciple was there, named Timothy, the son of a Jewish woman who was a believer, but his father was a Greek. 2 He was well spoken of by the brothers 2 at Lystra and Iconium. 3 Paul wanted Timothy to accompany him, and he took him and circumcised him because of the Jews who were in those places, for they all knew that his father was a Greek.
2 Corinthians 1:19 - For the Son of God, Jesus Christ, whom we proclaimed among you, Silvanus and Timothy and I, was not Yes and No, but kin him it is always Yes.
1 Thessalonians 3:2 - and we sent Timothy, four brother and God’s coworker1 in the gospel of Christ, to establish and exhort you in your faith..
1 Timothy 4:11–16 - Command and teach these things. 12 Let no one despise you for your youth, but set the believers tan example in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith, in purity. 13 Until I come, devote yourself to the public reading of Scripture, to exhortation, to teaching. 14 Do not neglect the gift you have, which was given you by prophecy when the council of elders laid their hands on you. 15 Practice these things, immerse yourself in them,3 so that all may see your progress. 16 Keep a close watch on yourself and on the teaching. Persist in this, for by so doing you will save both yourself and your hearers.
Matt 23:5 - They do all their deeds to be seen by others. For they make their phylacteries broad and their fringes long, 6 and they clove the place of honor at feasts and the best seats in the synagogues 7 and greetings in the marketplaces and being called frabbi2 by others. 8 But you are not to be called rabbi, for you have one teacher, and you are hall brothers.3 9 And call no man your father on earth, for you have one Father, who is in heaven. 10 Neither be called instructors, for you have one instructor, the Christ. 11 The greatest among you shall be your servant. 12 Whoever exalts himself will be humbled, and whoever humbles himself will be exalted. 13 “But woe nto you, scribes and Pharisees, hypocrites! (Be sure to see the context. References above)
