A mother is invited by her son, Dave, for dinner...
He lives with a female roommate, Tina. During the course of the meal, his mother couldn't help but notice how pretty Tina was. Over the course of the evening, while watching the two interact, she started to wonder if there was more between Dave and his roommate than met the eye. Reading his mum's thoughts, Dave volunteered, "I know what you must be thinking, but I assure you, Tina and I are just roommates.'' About a week later, Tina came to Dave saying, "Ever since your mother came to dinner, I've been unable to find the silver sugar bowl. You don't suppose she took it, do you?""Well, I doubt it, but I'll email her, just to be sure," said Dave.So he sat down and wrote an email:
Dear Mum, I'm not saying that you "DID" take the sugar bowl from my house; I'm not saying that you "DID NOT" take it. But the fact remains that it has been missing ever since you were here for dinner. Love, DaveSeveral days later, Dave received a response email from his mother, which read:
Dear SON, I'm not saying that you "DO" sleep with Tina, and I'm not saying that you "DO NOT" sleep with her. But the fact remains that if SHE were sleeping in her OWN BED, SHE would have found the sugar bowl by now!!
- Pre-marital Sex and Divorce Rates: Research shows that women who have only one or no sexual partners before marriage have the lowest divorce rates.
- Number of Partners Matters: Women with exactly two partners showed a 28% divorce rate after five years (1980s data), while those with ten or more had a 33% rate (2000s data).
- Significance of Waiting: Couples who wait until marriage to have sex report higher marital satisfaction and lower divorce rates.
Set some Sacred Boundaries Early -- The Glory of God’s Design is Good
God never condemned sex—He created it. What Scripture condemns is the misuse of a sacred fire outside the hearth God built to contain it. Like fire in a fireplace, sex warms, gives life, and brings beauty when contained. But when it escapes the boundaries of God’s design, it destroys homes, scars souls, and burns generations. Scripture does not whisper this truth—it thunders it with clarity, compassion, and warning.
From Genesis to Revelation, God speaks with one voice: sexual union belongs exclusively within the covenant of marriage between a man and a woman. Anything outside that covenant is called porneia—sexual immorality—and it is consistently condemned, not because God is restrictive, but because He is protective.
“Marriage is honorable among all, and the bed undefiled; but fornicators and adulterers God will judge.”
(Hebrews 13:4, KJV)
The Bible’s Language Is Clear—Even if the Culture Isn’t
Scripture names two primary sexual sins: adultery (sex that violates marriage vows) and fornication (sexual intimacy outside marriage altogether). Though modern culture tries to soften the language, the Bible does not. The Greek word porneia—from which we get pornography—includes all sexual activity outside marriage: premarital sex, adultery, incest, homosexuality, and every distortion of God’s design (Matthew 15:19; Romans 1:29; 1 Corinthians 6:18).
Paul makes the contrast unmistakable:
“Since sexual immorality is occurring, each man should have sexual relations with his own wife, and each woman with her own husband.”
(1 Corinthians 7:2)
Marriage is presented not as an optional tradition, but as God’s ordained safeguard for sexuality. In other words, marriage is the context that gives sex meaning, safety, and holiness.
Chuck Smith once said,
“God’s boundaries are not fences to keep us out of pleasure, but guardrails to keep us from destruction.”
Why Sex Before Marriage Is More Than a Personal Choice
Our world calls sex “recreation.” God calls it an essential part of a life covenant.
Sex is not merely physical—it is spiritual, emotional, and covenantal. It is the bodily expression of a lifelong promise. To take the gift without the vow is to steal intimacy without responsibility, pleasure without promise, union without unity.
Paul reminds us that sexual sin is unlike any other sin because it is a sin against one’s own body:
“Do you not know that your body is the temple of the Holy Spirit… you are not your own, for you were bought with a price?”
(1 Corinthians 6:19–20)
Sex outside marriage fractures what God intended to be whole. It forms bonds that were meant to be sealed by covenant, not broken by convenience. That is why Scripture says, “Flee sexual immorality” (1 Corinthians 6:18)—not negotiate with it, not redefine it, but run from it.
The Forgotten Cost of Ignoring God’s Wisdom
The Bible’s sexual ethic is not only holy—it is profoundly practical. When God’s design is honored, society flourishes. When it is ignored, chaos follows.
Barna and CDC data repeatedly confirm what Scripture already knew:
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Children raised by married biological parents are far more likely to thrive emotionally and spiritually
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The majority of abortions follow unplanned pregnancies outside marriage
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Sexually transmitted diseases multiply where sexual boundaries collapse
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Fatherlessness fuels cycles of poverty, crime, and emotional trauma
Abstinence before marriage is not outdated—it is life-saving, child-protecting, and soul-preserving.
You and I want to be good witnesses for Jesus. God can give you power to deny yourself (pick up the cross to follow him) live principled and disciplined, believer. Yes, in the holy fear of God, to daily rely upon Him for victory.
Is there a difference between sex and gender, biblically speaking?
What does the Bible say about getting a sex change?
Should a married person have a close friend of the opposite sex?
Why does God care who I sleep with?
What does the Bible say about spousal aka marital rape? Rape is always wrong.
What does the Bible say about sex addiction?
What does the Bible say about oral sex?
What is a Christian couple allowed to do in sex?
What is a biblical view of sexuality?
The surest way to add controversy to any issue is to connect it with sex, and this makes discussions of erectile dysfunction medicines like Viagra and Cialis, and other topics like this, more difficult than they need to be.
Why are Christians so strongly against sex outside of a proper marriage?
What does the Bible say about anal sex? What is sodomy according to God?
What does the Bible say about an open marriage? It's wrong. Why live in sin?
What does the Bible say about polyamory?
Is it a sin for a Christian to go to a strip club or to watch strippers? It's moronic for anyone to.
Masturbation—is it a sin according to the Bible?
What is sin? Is masturbation a sin?
Is cyber-sex, sexting, and phone sex a sin?
Is looking at pornography a sin?
Is it ever not a sin to masturbate?
What is wrong with viewing pornography, if I don't lust after someone?
We all need to have an understanding with the Lord on this stuff, so we will fail to have a misunderstanding.. and go blow it. Man, a whole lot more can be said about these areas. Billy Graham once said,
“God made sex like a river—powerful and beautiful. But when it overflows its banks, it destroys everything in its path.”
Fornication as Spiritual Unfaithfulness
Scripture also uses sexual sin as a metaphor for idolatry. When God’s people turn from Him to other gods, He calls it fornication. Why? Because idolatry is a form of spiritual intimacy given to the wrong lover.
Israel was God’s bride. When she worshiped Baal, God called it harlotry (Jeremiah 2; Ezekiel 16). The church is the Bride of Christ, and false worship is described as adultery (Revelation 2:14, 20; 17:1–2).
This reveals something profound: sexual purity is not merely moral—it is relational. It reflects loyalty, trust, and love for the One who redeemed us.
Grace, Not Shame—But Truth, Not Silence
Scripture is firm, but it is not cruel. Jesus did not come to condemn sinners, but to redeem them (John 3:17). Forgiveness is real. Restoration is possible. Purity can be reclaimed. But grace never redefines sin—it rescues us from it.
John Piper wrote,
“God is most glorified in us when we are most satisfied in Him.”
And nowhere is that more countercultural than in the realm of sexual obedience.
The old hymn still speaks:
“Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey.”
The Call of This Generation
In a world intoxicated with sexual freedom, the church must model holy restraint. In a culture drowning in images, Christians must live as temples. In an age of cheap intimacy, God calls His people back to sacred covenant love.
“This is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality.”
(1 Thessalonians 4:3)
This is not a burden—it is an invitation to freedom, wholeness, and joy.
God’s design is not outdated. It is timeless.
God’s wisdom is not restrictive. It is liberating.
And God’s call to purity is not punishment—it is protection.
May we honor Him with our bodies, our hearts (no to fornication, adultery, bisexual sin, homosexual sins and other sexual sins), and our vows, until the day the Bridegroom comes for His bride—pure, faithful, and ready.
Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.
1 Corinthians 6:18-20
Flee from sexual immorality. Every other sin a person commits is outside the body, but the sexually immoral person sins against his own body. Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
1 Corinthians 7:2
But because of the temptation to sexual immorality, each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband.
Galatians 5:19-21
Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these. I warn you, as I warned you before, that those who do such things will not inherit the kingdom of God.
John 8:41-42
“You are doing the works your father did.” They said to him, “We were not born of sexual immorality. We have one Father—even God.” Jesus said to them, “If God were your Father, you would love me, for I came from God and I am here. I came not of my own accord, but he sent me."
Matthew 5:32
But I say to you that everyone who divorces his wife, except on the ground of sexual immorality, makes her commit adultery, and whoever marries a divorced woman commits adultery.
Matthew 19:9
And I say to you: whoever divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another, commits adultery.
1 Corinthians 5:1
It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that is not tolerated even among pagans, for a man has his father's wife.
1 Corinthians 10:13
No temptation has overtaken you that is not common to man. God is faithful, and he will not let you be tempted beyond your ability, but with the temptation he will also provide the way of escape, that you may be able to endure it.
Revelation 21:8
But as for the cowardly, the faithless, the detestable, as for murderers, the sexually immoral, sorcerers, idolaters, and all liars, their portion will be in the lake that burns with fire and sulfur, which is the second death.
1 Corinthians 6:13
“Food is meant for the stomach and the stomach for food”—and God will destroy both one and the other. The body is not meant for sexual immorality, but for the Lord, and the Lord for the body.
Mark 7:20-23
And he said, “What comes out of a person is what defiles him. For from within, out of the heart of man, come evil thoughts, sexual immorality, theft, murder, adultery, coveting, wickedness, deceit, sensuality, envy, slander, pride, foolishness. All these evil things come from within, and they defile a person.”
Colossians 3:5
Put to death therefore what is earthly in you: sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry.
1 Corinthians 6:9-11
Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God. And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.
Jude 1:7
Just as Sodom and Gomorrah and the surrounding cities, which likewise indulged in sexual immorality and pursued unnatural desire, serve as an example by undergoing a punishment of eternal fire.
Ephesians 5:3
But sexual immorality and all impurity or covetousness must not even be named among you, as is proper among saints.
1 Thessalonians 4:3-4
For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each one of you know how to control his own body in holiness and honor,
Exodus 22:16-17
If a man seduces a virgin who is not betrothed and lies with her, he shall give the bride-price for her and make her his wife. If her father utterly refuses to give her to him, he shall pay money equal to the bride-price for virgins.
Romans 12:1-2
I appeal to you therefore, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship. Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewal of your mind, that by testing you may discern what is the will of God, what is good and acceptable and perfect.
1 John 1:9
If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.
