"A daily time of solitude with the Word can be restorative for the soul; but a selfish type of separating unto isolation slowly starves it ..for the unbeliever. Don't bail out from Christ or a healthy church for any reason!" @kurtwvs
Cultists have always known a dangerous secret, and they regularly practice this: if you can simply isolate a soul from their family members, you can rewrite so called truth in their mind. You can like brainwash them.. but it certainly isn't clean.
That is why false teachers often go to work on this, pulling people away from their family members, mixing truth with error and getting people too busy with worthless activities they call "imperative." Yes, away from a sound church and Family with a godly influence—slowly at first, and then completely away—until the voice of Scripture has been drowned out by the voice of their deception. Cult leaders have experience in the most ugly practice.
Q: Want to ditch a toxic cult unhealthy abarent cultic group? Good for you! What's the definition? ..what's the difference between a sect and a real cult? "If a loved one or friend is involved in a cult, it’s important to, first of all, pray. Then do a little research first to ascertain what kind of group he or she is part of. You need to be aware of the general way these groups operate and to understand the mindset of those trapped in a toxic religious group. Essentially, toxic religious groups are fueled by fear, shame, and secrecy. Cult members are taught to set their sights on a future existence on a paradise earth or in heaven and forced to give up all hopes of true joy or fulfillment in this life. They often face feelings of emptiness and dread and must resign themselves to boredom, drudgery, and self-discipline. Cult members are often forced to fake a smile and find the energy to put on a “positive face” in order to prove to outsiders that theirs is the “one true religion.”
Tragically, even relatives sometimes do this, separating loved ones from positive Christian influence and fellowship under the guise of love or protection. But that kind of separation is not biblical—it is a form of disloyal spiritual sabotage.
When an ungodly spouse manipulates to gain full control like a power-hungry king over his queen (or vice versa), then this is a serious red flag warning sign, because a healthy marriage never requires this type of isolating of one's spouse away from their loving, faithful parents without a just cause.
Reading whats 100% true to a child when asked to< is not grounds for new boundaries to be established.
Wise husbands and wives should pause not their parents when no wrong's been done, but themselves to take notice of such folly, and then carefully discern in the marriage, since this type of controlling behavior is a selfish isolation. It's a misapplied punishment of elders away from grandchildren and are not marks of teal love, but sure signs of a strange me-first childish manipulative act.
When an ungodly spouse manipulates to gain full control like a power hungry king over his queen or visa versa, then this is a serious red flag warning sign, because a healthy marriage never requires this type of isolating of one's spouse away from their loving, faithful parents without a just cause.
Reading whats 100% true to a child when asked to do so is certainly not grounds for new protective boundaries to be established.
Marriage is for two people to get much closer to God and grow when apart and when together.. in order to love and serve Him better in this world. It's not for each of them to get more selfish and distance themselves from him and His word. He has a purpose for each married partner that are of the opposite sex. In the Bible marriage is God's “fix” so to speak for the fact that “it is not good for the man to be alone” (Genesis 2:18). As the Bible describes Adam and Eve in the first marriage, where she actually helped him to sin along with her. The husband is to righteously gently lead her in the right direction, not away and not vice versa.
A healthy marriage requires wise boundaries to protect, not to hurt people.
God has a unique purpose for the marriage covenant.
It is clear that God created marriage for our own good (See Proverbs 18:22), to make us happy in knowing Him, and to promote a healthier society, and to produce holiness.
Along with focusing on your spiritual growth, or taking practical steps, such as managing finances wisely, adopting healthy habits, and working through past interpersonal conflicts.
In intimate marital companionship, a husband and wife seek the Lord togther and with His church. They live out the ways of God described in the Bible, they love one another, and spur one another to love and good works in Christ.
"Therefore, 'Come out from among them and be separate, says the Lord. Do not touch what is unclean, and I will receive you.' 'I will be a Father to you, and you shall be My sons and daughters,' says the Lord Almighty." 2 Corinthians 6:17-18 nkjv
Wisely avoid sin and worldly contaminations of all kinds (even those places where it's easy to succumb to temptation). Yes, without cloistering away from all people. If they mistreat and are not open to the gospel, then take some steps back. Opt to leave your legacy elsewhere where there's loyalty to the gospels decent impact.
But the Bible clearly speaks of another good type of separation that is called for. A holy type of one. A necessary type. A life-giving one.. away from the corruption of the World System that tells you to do what it tells you to do, and it's wrong because it's in opposition to God the highest Authority.
The moment a person repents, receives forgiveness with Spiritual regeneration by faith, truly believes in Jesus Christ, a line is drawn.
Not because Christians have earned grace, or are to be self-righteous or feel better than—but because they are now different -- "new creatures in Christ" and they are better off. They belong to another kingdom (they've been transferred from the kingdom of darkness into the kingdom of Light and love in the Son).
Got actually calls each of us believers to Himself, yes out of the unholy darkness of this world system. Scripture calls this biblical separation—it's not isolation from people or family, but it's a good consecration unto God.
Please beware of ungodly, prideful and rebellious people who try to get you away from God's flock so to speak.. and away from your family members ..especially if those family members are spiritually reborn Christians.
The Apostle Peter says it plainly: “As obedient children, do not be conformed to the passions of your former ignorance.. but as He who called you is holy, you also be holy in all your conduct” (1 Peter 1:14–16).
Separation is not withdrawal from all the people in this world, but it's a refusal to be shaped unholy and perverse (on some level) by the world.
Personal Separation: Choosing Purity (Spiritual, Mental/Psychological And Physical Purity) In A Very Polluted World
Godly Daniel understood this long before modern believers wrestled with it. Standing in Babylon, surrounded by power, immoral pleasures, and worldly pressures, he “resolved not to defile himself” (Daniel 1:8). This is teal basic, not overly complex. If you live for God, you need to become like God in the sense that he's holy.
That single decision of Daniel shaped a lifetime of influence. Daniel didn’t leave Babylon—but Babylon never entered Daniel. It's one thing to have the ship in the water and it's quite another to let the water into that ship. Keep the worldliness out of you unless you really want to sink and perish.
That is the heart of personal separation. It is a quiet resolve, a settled conviction, a holy “no” given.. early decided, spoken out before the temptation ever knocks.
The Apostle Paul calls this wisdom: “Put on the Lord Jesus Christ, and make no provision for the flesh” (Romans 13:14).
Sometimes obedience looks like declining an invitation, setting smart boundaries when there's constant disrespect, or changing a habit, or stepping away from environments that weaken your spiritual clarity. It's not bad to take two steps away when there have been gross misjudgments.
Not out of fear—but out of love for God, His righteousness and His holiness. “Abstain from every form of evil” (1 Thessalonians 5:22).
Charles Spurgeon once said, “Holiness is not the way to Christ, but Christ is the way to holiness.” When Christ reigns without rival in you, a good separation follows naturally.
Ecclesiastical Separation: Guarding the Gospel
The church itself is a separated people. The word ekklesia literally means “called out.”
That is why Jesus reproved and warned the church at Pergamum for tolerating false teaching (Revelation 2:14–15). Truth is not preserved by silence or being kowtowed to. Do you have two or three Lords to follow? Unity without truth is not unity—it is surrender. Being loyal to God and truth is more important.
Paul’s concern was never popularity but purity. Churches must lovingly—but very firmly—separate from theological compromise and error, even when it costs influence or numbers. The gospel is too precious to dilute. Too many so-called spiritual leaders water down the gospel and Bible teaching.
John MacArthur writes, “The church’s greatest danger is not persecution from outside, but corruption from within.”
Believer You are to Be In the World, Not of It: That's The Balanced Life of Light
Keep your good boundaries, that's fine. Enjoy the peace. Pray for your DILs, SILs, Inlaws etc from afar if need be. All your needs are met by your Source. That's Christ's promise to you, believer. Leave a legacy where you will ..but only if or where it furthers His Kingdom, that's wise and fine!
Biblical separation does not mean Christians cut off contact with unbelievers. If they're open to truth and spend some time with them to influence them closer to God. If they're closed to truth, then just continue to pray for them.. But move on to somebody who is open to Bible truth.
We dont Force the gospel on anyone not wanting to hear it. Do you to think that God sends people to hell, really, or do you think that they send themselves there? They're going to have to step over Christ and the Cross to get in there actually.
Total separation from all? Naww. If that were the case.. to get away from all sinners ..then how could you become a fisher of people?
We would have to leave the planet completely (1 Corinthians 5:9–10).
Jesus was called a friend of sinners because that's exactly who he was and is (See Luke 7:34), yet Jesus never once shared in their sin. He moved among broken people without becoming broken Himself. You can spend some time with sinners and carnal Christians without being pulled down by them. Prayerfully live in the word and let the word live through you.. shine through you.
Yes, that is our calling too. To reflect his light in a dark world.
We are salt in a decaying world and light in a dark one. Jesus said, “You are the light of the world… let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father in heaven” (Matthew 5:14–16).
Light must be near darkness to be seen—but never absorbed by it.
Why This Matters Now More Than Ever
George Barna's research shows that fewer than 10% of professing Christians hold a biblical worldview, and nearly 60% believe moral truth is relative. The line between church and culture has blurred. What once shocked us now entertains us. What once convicted us now comforts us.
That is why separation matters—not as legalism, but as love. Not as isolation, but as illumination.
The old hymn still sings truth into our generation:
“Take the world, but give me Jesus—
All its joys are but a name.”
"I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.
I have decided to follow Jesus;
I have decided to follow Jesus;
No turning back, no turning back.
Though none go with me, I still will follow;
Though none go with me, I still will follow;
Though none go with me, I still will follow;
No turning back, no turning back."
Is there some suffering in this Christian walk? Of course there is, but it's worth following Him all the way Home.
Billy Graham once said, “Salvation is free, but discipleship costs everything.” That cost often looks like separation—saying no to what dims our witness so we can say yes to what deepens our walk.
The Picture We All Need To See
Biblical separation is not running from people—it is running toward Christ.
It is not fear—it is faithfulness.
It is not arrogance—it is allegiance.
We step away from the world’s mold so we can be shaped by God’s hand. We live differently so others might live forever.
As Chuck Smith wisely said, “You cannot live in compromise and expect to shine with clarity.”
So we separate—not to hide—but to shine.
Not to judge—but to invite.
Not to retreat—but to stand. To advance forward with your Chief Shepherd leading all the way Home.
And when we do, the world will see not a wall—but a lighted city on a hill, pointing them home.
