No time to quit or bail out. She's worth fighting for..on your knees. You've come too far to go back to your old life or into the world.
"Watch ye, stand fast in the faith, quit you like men (husbands), be strong. Let all your things be done with charity." See 1 Cor. 16. emph.mine
"Now to the married I command, yet not I but the Lord: a wife is not to depart from her husband." 1 Cor. 7:10
"But he who is married cares about the things of the world--how he may please his wife." 1 Cor. 7:33. Doesn't mean be worldly, carnal, distracted or fleshly!
"The unmarried woman cares about the things of the Lord, that she may be holy both in body and in spirit. But she who is married cares about the things of the world--how she may please her husband." 1 Cor. 7:34. Both are to live to please the Lord primarily, and each other in his will.
"A wife is bound by law as long as her husband lives; but if her husband dies, she is at liberty to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord." 1 Cor. 7:39 See whole context.
Need to Know How to Improve Your Marriage?
Does it feel like your relationship is now in a rut? Man, the only dif between a lame rut and a lonely grave is the length and the width. Get out of that spot you’re stuck in asap! Dude, I don’t mean out of that marriage to her. Don’t seek for a way out, or for another lover. Put Christ in the middle and first.
There are good options beyond running to a marriage therapist if you two are disagreeing about key issues. A romantic.. as far as you can go.. getaway with lots of listening, fun dinner dates, honest prayer and horizontal communication is a great way to reignite that spark in your marriage.
The essentials matter. And be diligent to take care of the basics, the foundational friendship things that you both can do ..that will have a big impact over time. You can the Lord need to make sure your spouse is regenerated inside in order to be equally yoked together. How can any two walk together unless they be agreed. Bad company corrupts good morals.
Hey, we’ve all blown it at times -- so please see where you could have let her down.. where you could have done better. Repent personally, trust, get the pet sins out, get Jesus in as Lord (both of you), ask for forgiveness. Apologize to your spouse and change. Repent means to change in your heart, yeah, it starts with a change of mind and of behavior.
Grab that dusty Bible, read it together and pray that God will help you know the Lord and want to live according to his clear teachings. Seek out and find a healthy Christian church where they teach and exposit the Bible. Where the born again spiritual (overall healthy) pastor emphasises the basics and practical biblical application.
That’s where you two can find other growing wholesome couples to have as close friends. We all need on-fire, strong, well-balanced friends who love to worship and walk with Christ. - Hold hands more often. Take time. Slow is fast in any relationship building, and fast means the relationship will grow slower. With touching.. with simple caressing and with sex... pause and pray first. Inquire about their needs. Then aim for five star+ quantity over quality.
Together get with the Lord who thought of it first (man, woman married sex), then make your spouse satisfied so that another from their workplace or from elsewhere won't. There are other people guy and girl.. around them weekly who would aim to help or meet their emotional needs and find out where you fail them. Ask God to help you wisely do that first for your best friend. Listen, you won her (or him) over, so keep re-winning them over again and again and again. Daily! Serve, aid, work, help, and be present.
"Ten focused minutes can build more intimate moments than many couples have experienced in years." ~ Clinical Sexologist for marriage people, Kat Van Kirk
Of course it can turn into non-pushy, non-controlling longer lovemaking sessions that are unselfish and safe. “Love..always protects.” You look out for what they want. She needs some creative novelty, prayer, protection and security. You’re never too old for that romance, guys. Don’t be selfish husband.. or wives.. by finding that other sleeping place to withhold from them. That’s just mean and cruel. It’s not God’s will for you.
Hey guys, if you're over 50 or 60 please go see a doctor if you need to. Get honest. Did you know that 50% of men over age 50 struggle with ED and 60% of men over age 60 have ED. Ditch the porn and lust over those barley clad images of strangers -- it hinders real men, real women and sex that God wants to bless. It doesn't help either of you at all.
- Write about your fights (I hope they are fair and respectful instead of hurtful or verbally demeaning). Write about your inner longings, aspirations, short and long term marriage goals. Start a prayer journal where you can slow down the process of prayer, to dream, and also log down the answers.
Inject Bible verses that go along with your aims. Ask what God's aims, plans and goals for you both are. How much time do you spend praying for them. The devil, a real enemy, hates your guts--both of you. You know he seeks to divide you! In a study from Northwestern University in Evanston, IL, couples who logged it down.. who wrote for seven minutes three times a year about previous marital conflicts from a third-party perspective reported greater relationship satisfaction than those who didn't. And that's leaving important prayer out of it! Don’t leave that out. Don't leave Christ out of your heart, marriage and family! You want God at the center of your relationship cuz the closer you each get to him, the closer you’ll get together.
Write honestly. The prayers can be short. Keep em non-religious, to the point and straightforward. God ain’t religious like that. Stay honest, keep your promises, build up the trust and integrity.
Those researchers believe it's because the writing group there was able to glean new insights about the disagreements or better understand their spouses after they'd reflected about them on their own. Next time you argue with your man, try writing down the details. Us guys like to journal on an e-document in our computers daily.You can trash your honesty with God prayers later if you like (the kids and grandkids don't need to hear all your complaints etc.), but know that Christ is there for you. He deeply cares and knows how to help you. He's a jealous God, but delights to bless you both in him (on every level) as you look to him primarily to meet all (not just some) needs. No other gods before him, or even next to him! Steal away alone and journal. You might notice something that you missed in the heat of the moment.
- Hug for three minutes and kiss for at least thirty seconds each day. There is nothing.. NOTHING.. more intimate than just holding her and together praying that God will meet the needs that you know about or perhaps don't yet know about. It should start there, the intimacy. "Often, kisses and hugs become mechanical and quick," says marriage and family therapist Kim Blackham.
The problem: Those hurried pecks and embraces don't offer the same feel-good benefits longer stretches of physical intimacy do. "Oxytocin, a chemical our bodies release when we touch one another, emotionally connects people," says Blackham.
- Take a walk together.. daily if you can. My wife Liney likes to pray some while we are walking and discussing the events of the week. She prays for a lot of people in need (even us) and we grow much closer this way. If you're trying to decide how you two should handle your daughter's poor report card, hit the pavement. Not only will the fresh air clear your minds but also "the very act of walking in the same direction can help you two feel as though you're on the same team and want the same result," explains Blackham. Physically heading to one place makes you more likely to be mentally in sync; it's like you're standing together instead of confronting each other.
- Put your smart phones away and always sit next to each other.. like at restaurant tables. Duh! Yeah, I mean it. Liney likes to do everything together including almost all our travel, so that's what we try to do. We quietly pray on ships, trains and on planes in different ways. You may be inclined to take a seat across from your partner, but "that's a more aggressive stance," says Blackham. After all, it's how you and a prospective employer sit during an interview. Next time you're out, try grabbing a booth or putting separate chairs at a table side by side. Hold hands under the table too, slide an arm around your spouse or touch their knee, and you can whisper in their ear some too. "It's a friendlier and a much more intimate position," Blackham adds.
Cell phones take you away from the present moment.. where you need to be. Be in the now with em, not in yesterdays or so much in tomorrows. Have phone free and social media-free times of the day, and of the week. Stay focused on what's most important. Major on the majors and minor on the minors. - Write down and remember to thank them for their sweet deeds. Do some of those deeds as well.
Write tender love notes and thank your spouse in blue ink. Lots of notes and go buy the flowers. Share your feelings and dreams in those notes. Learn to like or pen poems. God can help you love truth!
- Forgive people from the heart, and pray for them. Forgiven people really need to be forgiving people. I don’t tell everyone I’ve forgiven them, God just helps me do that in my heart. If they ask, I tell them I forgive and that doesn’t mean it wasn’t wrong what they did. There are often lasting consequences for our bad decisions, but we are to forgive people inside. That’s healthy and blessed.- Give thanks (to your spouse too) -- get better rather than bitter. Explain how beautiful they are. Remember to casually..candidly share for your faith together with friends and others. Share some struggles where God gave you the victory. They need to see that you are a flawed human that’s needy as well.
Point people to Jesus, to a Bible and what it says, and to a healthy local church where they can grow. There are too many spiritually sick churches and leaders out there and they need your help. - Ask each other an interesting or provocative question every day. Have fun with it and laugh.
Inject lots of healthy humor into your week. Your marriage is to be about JOY WITH LAUGHTER and REFLECTING HIS LIGHT OF TRUTH AND LOVE, to be about ABUNDANT LIFE in fellowship with the Son.. about BLESSING AND BLESSING OTHER PEOPLE DAILY. Let Jesus and his Spirit empower you.
It doesn't matter what the daily question is, Ms. Rachel Sussman says, but asking your spouse an interesting question each day is a great way to continually learn more about your partner and to understand more of how their mind works. "It forces you to get out of your comfort zone, think something through, talk about it, and explain yourself," Sussman says. "If your partner agrees with you and you have an interesting conversation, that creates intimacy."
She says no topic is off-limits, and you can bring up anything from politics to the latest show you're enjoying together. What's important is to take in wholesome content (instead of perverse), to actively listen and to engage with your spouse.
"When a man and a woman give themselves to each other in an act of marital love, they can know the love of Christ as no one else can know it.” —J. Vernon McGee
“A man doesn’t own his marriage; he is only the steward of his wife’s love.” —Ed Cole
“Many marriages would be better if the husband and the wife clearly understood that they are on the same side.” —Zig Ziglar
“God created marriage. No government subcommittee envisioned it. No social organization developed it. Marriage was conceived and born in the mind of God.” —Max Lucado
“The happiness of married life depends upon making small sacrifices with readiness and cheerfulness.” —John Selden “A man doesn’t own his marriage; he is only the steward of his wife’s love.” —Ed Cole
What does the Bible in 1 Corinthians 13 say? It commands us, “let all that you do be done in love.”
What else does the Bible teach on marriage? Is teaches that the essence of marriage is a sacrificial commitment to the good and blessing of the other spouse. Love is more fundamentally action than a fuzzy feeling or emotion. Not much more matters while we're here other than showing people God's love.
“When I have learnt to love God better than my earthly dearest, I shall love my earthly dearest better than I do now.” —C.S. Lewis
- Ask God questions too, even if he doesn't owe you or me a yes or no answer. Come to him just as you are. He gave it all by sending Jesus. Jesus gave it all on the Cross for you -- it is finished. You know that God does indeed answer every prayer you pray.. with no, yes or wait. Be patient as you wait on him. I pray that God will greatly bless your marriage.. in his word, in thanks, in prayer, in praise, in worship, in marriage intimacy, in witnessing of your faith, in fellowship with each other... and with others who are sound. Fish4souls.org .. Facebook.com/shareJesus
